Will I Ever Find Love? 10 Things To Remember When You’re Frustrated With Being Single

I’m not going to sugar-coat it for you – sometimes being single kinda sucks. It can be difficult seeing other couples seemingly happy and in love, leaving you wondering why you haven’t found the right person. While many people feel bitter about being on our own, it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s important to remind yourself of all of the advantages the single life brings. So, when you’re feeling down about your relationship status (or lack thereof), make sure to remind yourself of the following.

  1. Every Relationship Has Its Hidden Problems. It may seem like all of the couples around you are on cloud nine, but that’s not always the case. No relationship is perfect, leaving many couples struggling with issues behind closed doors. Just because your friend has confided in you about her relationship drama doesn’t mean it’s not weighing on her. Stop assuming that the majority of couples are happy and remember everyone has their issues.
  2. Being In A Relationship Won’t Necessarily Make You Happy. To continue on with the previous point, being in a relationship doesn’t automatically make you happy. In fact, for many struggling couples, their relationship is the main source of their unhappiness. Sure, the honeymoon stage will leave you feeling giddy, but it will eventually wear off. Remember, true happiness comes from within. While you’re single, work on figuring out what makes you happy. That way, when you do find a relationship, you won’t be dependent on it to give you satisfaction.
  3. You Have Full Control Over Your Finances. When you’re in a committed relationship – especially if you’re living with your significant other – it becomes challenging to sort out finances. It’s likely you’ll both have differing opinions on where to spend your money, which can lead to conflict. If your significant other is having financial problems, such as a low income or debt, you’ll feel responsible for helping them overcome it, even if you’re not legally responsible for their money problems. When you’re single, however, syou don’t need to worry about someone else’s finances. You’re in full control of your own money and don’t have another person to answer to. Enjoy the financial freedom while it lasts.
  4. You Can Devote Your Time To Friends & Family. Let’s face it – relationships take up a lot of our time. We’ve all had that one friend who bails on her pals as soon as she starts a new relationship. When you’re single, make sure to remind yourself that you’ve still got a lot of people in your life who’ll surround you with support, love, and affection. Focus your attention on creating memories and strengthening relationships with your loved ones. They say love will find you when you least expect it. So, if your energy is being directed on friends and family, romance will find you before you know it.
  5. Relationships Take A Lot Of Time & Effort. This is related to our previous point. Not only do relationships interfere with the time you have with friends and family, but it shifts your priorities overall. You suddenly have another person to worry about besides yourself. Their problems become your problems, which requires energy and time from you. Especially if your relationship is on rocky grounds, it takes effort to repair things. When you’re single, however, you can devote all of your free time to yourself.
  6. Don’t Sell Yourself Short To Be In A Relationship. Too many women will date someone they know doesn’t deserve them just so they can be in a relationship – but don’t sell yourself short! Not only does it mean you’ll get stuck with someone below your league, but it won’t do anything to prioritize your happiness. When you’re single, remind yourself that it’s by choice. You could download Tinder and have a dozen guys wanting to invite you over. But because you have standards, you aren’t just going to settle for any ol’ guy.
  7. Focus Energy On Your Work & Passions. We’ve already established that being single gives you a lot more time and energy to focus on yourself. This means it’s the perfect opportunity to invest in your work and passions. Try out that hobby you’ve been putting on the back burner for ages, or finally get serious about starting the career you want. It’s only going to be more difficult to do these things if you’re tied down. Rather than looking at your single status as a disadvantage, see it as an opportunity to focus on the things important to you.
  8. You Have The Freedom To Explore Your Sexuality. You may think that being in a relationship means your sex life will be rocking, but that’s not always the case. You need to consider the other person’s preferences. Maybe you’ve been dying to try something out but they’re not very adventurous in bed. Being single means you have the opportunity to explore your sexuality as you please. Whether you want to experiment with a lot of people or try things out solo (there are toys for that!), the world is your oyster.
  9. Being Single Cultivates Independence & Self Sufficiency. There’s a lot to learn from being on your own. When in a relationship, it’s easy to become overly dependent on your significant other. Suddenly, you have someone to go with you everywhere and help you solve your problems. But this can eat away at your ability to break out of your comfort zone. Remember that being single is helping you build your independence, self-sufficiency, and more.
  10. Your Value Isn’t Measured By A Relationship.  This may be the most important thing to remember – your relationship status does not define your worth. It’s true that we live in a society obsessed with how everything looks, leading many people to believe they need a relationship for appearance’s sake. But you’re going to be much happier if you stop worrying about single and instead focus on what makes you happy. You’re already incredible the way you are; you don’t need another person to complete you.
Alexandra is a freelance writer in Montreal, Quebec. She enjoys shopping as a sport, Buffy the Vampire Slayer re-runs, and being a plant mom.