What Women Really Tell Their Friends After Making Love With You

Women love talking to their BFFs about making love — especially after a couple drinks. Even the strictest of the “I don’t kiss and tell” ladies end up spilling a few juicy details during a particularly rambunctious happy hour. If you wonder what kind of stories we’re telling our girls about your performance in bed, here’s a clue:

  1. If you were a good kisser. Kissing is a huge part of making love for a lot of women, and if you use too much tongue (or not enough tongue), or generally kiss like you’re trying to swallow her whole, it’s pretty distracting. If we gave you the benefit of the doubt and made love with you anyway, hopefully you have some other redeeming qualities, because a bad kisser already has one strike against him.
  2. If we were satisfied. The main question is always going to be: did we have an orgasm? There are plenty of ways you could have facilitated this, so the size of your package doesn’t necessarily always factor into the equation. It’s more about how you use what you have.
  3. How attentive you were. Did you do the jackhammer thing, orgasm, and then pass out on top of the covers? Or did you actually put some effort into foreplay and make sure she had a good time? Even if we didn’t quite get to the finish line, most of us appreciate that you tried. Sometimes it takes practice, and if we know you’re up for the challenge, we’re more likely to want to sleep with you again.
  4. How hot you were. Let’s be honest — we’re sleeping with you, so we’re probably physically attracted to you. It could go one of two ways: either “H’s really hot, but…” or “He’s really hot and he’s great in bed!” It’s your job to make sure you’re the latter.
  5. How you both wanted the exact same snack after. Making love is hard work, so why not share some ice cream in bed, order Chinese food, or nibble on carrots and celery, if that’s your thing? Whatever you want to snack on, if it’s the same as what we happen to be craving, you better believe that we’re going to tell our friends that as if it’s the most amazing thing that has ever happened.
  6. Your cuddling style. The love-making part may be over, but how you treat a girl after you come is just as important to her as how you treat us before. Even if it’s just spooning for 10 minutes, that’s still better than hopping up, showering as quickly and possible, and then sneaking out without saying goodbye.
  7. If you tried anything new. If you whipped out some fancy move we’ve never seen (or felt) before, we’re probably going to mention that to our friends, either to rave about how great it was, or to ask if it’s a red flag. Creativity gets points — just don’t get too crazy too soon.
  8. How big you are. Most of the time, this only comes up if you’re outside the range of what we consider to be “average.” Whether that’s extra big or a little on the small side, it doesn’t have to matter that much, as long as you know what you’re doing and you treat us right.
  9. Very few details. While there are a lot of things women do discuss with their friends when it comes to making love, it’s not like we sit around discussing every detail of our love lives. We have plenty of other things to talk about that have absolutely nothing to do with guys, so don’t worry about it too much.
  10. If we wants to do it again. If everything else has been positive up to this point, the next burning question is definitely always whether or not we want to make love with you again. If it’s not a solid “hell yes”, then it’s probably an “I’ll give him over more chance” or “Not in a million years.”
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.