Women Want To Be Treated As Equals, So Why Do We Complain When It Happens?

Women Want To Be Treated As Equals, So Why Do We Complain When It Happens? ©iStock/visualspace

As long as women are still earning only 79% of what men earn for equal work, the issue of gender inequality is not going away. We want an end to gender discrimination and for us to be treated fairly, just as men are treated. But then, if that’s the case, why is it that we still expect the “perks” that come with being a woman? If we really wanted to be seen as equals, the following things wouldn’t be true.

  1. We make a face whenever a guy doesn’t let us off the elevator before him. Of course, we make the face behind his back so he doesn’t realize what a crap move that was, but still, it makes us feel a little better. We want our equality and all, but we also want guys to still do things like hold the door for us and be gentlemen in general.
  2. We expect men to take out the garbage, but hate when they expect us to make dinner. We leave the garbage and other traditionally “male” chores to guys. But when they come home from work and expect dinner to be done even though we also just got home from work, we flip the hell out. It’s like telling us to go to the kitchen and make them a sandwich. Sexist, right? But then if they ask us to take the garbage out, we make yet another face, because what the hell? That’s their job because they’re the men. Oh, wait. 
  3. We don’t frequent bars or clubs where we know there’s no chance of getting free drinks. When we find a place with a cute bartender who gives us stuff for free just because we’re equally cute women, we tend to keep going back. On the other hand, the places that won’t acknowledge our cuteness are dead to us. We just like all the free stuff we get, and sometimes, dare I say it, we even expect to get stuff for free. Guys never get that. I hope you remember this the next time the bartender “forgets” to add that margarita to your tab.
  4. We would never go on a second date with a guy who didn’t pay for dinner or who suggested we go Dutch. Because that’s just inexcusable. Where are his manners? Doesn’t he realize he’s obligated to pay for everything just because he’s a dude? But wait, if women want to be treated as equals, then going Dutch seems like it would be the best option, right? C’mon, none of us are going to accept that. We’re just going to tell all our friends he’s a stingy douche.
  5. We appreciate when guys offer to help us do something that requires physical labor. You will rarely, if ever, see a guy asking another dude if he needs help carrying a box upstairs to his apartment, or stopping on the road to help him change his tire. It just doesn’t happen. As women, though, we expect men to help when they see a woman in need. After all, you can’t deny the fact that they’re physically a lot stronger than we are. So when we’re clearly struggling to carry our massive bag of laundry to the cleaners and a guy passes us without saying anything, we silently call him a douchebag, even though he’s just treating us as equals.
  6. We continue to use our womanhood as an excuse. We’ve all gotten out of gym class by claiming we had menstrual cramps. We’ve all messed up before and blamed it on PMS. Those are things that guys will never understand, and so we have no problem using it against them. The good thing is that it generally works every time, but the bad thing is that this is just showing how we expect to be treated differently because of our gender. Imagine if your gym teacher told you he didn’t care that you had your period and that you still had to run the mile like everyone else. You’d have called him an insensitive jerk.
  7. We think less of women who sleep around. When guys do it, they’re just being guys, or they’re regarded more highly because they’re experienced. But whenever we hear about women who do it a lot, we call them “easy” or “loose.” We want to be treated as equals, but then we still judge women a lot more harshly when it comes to sexuality. At least the times are slowly changing and it’s becoming more acceptable for women to be sexually open, but still, society is a long way away from gender equality, both in our policies but also in our expectations.
Chelsey is a freelance writer in NYC. She's pretty normal by today's standards, or at least that's what her mother tells her.