If He Won’t Do These Things For You, He’s Only In It To Get Laid

When you first start going out with a guy you really like, it’s easy to get blinded to his true intentions. The problem is that a lot of guys will pretend to be crazy about you when all they really want is to get you in bed. Before you let yourself fall for him, make sure the guy you’re seeing is doing these things that prove he’s in it for all the right reasons:

  1. He should connect with you after sex. A guy who’s into you will want to romance you, not just try to get laid and leave. He should spend time with you after sex to show that he’s not just looking for a physical connection. If the sex feels impersonal or like he’s hurrying you out of the bedroom once it’s over, he’s not boyfriend potential at all.
  2. He should do more than thrill you in the sack. He should want to spend time with you both inside the bedroom and outside of it. If he’s never down when you suggest going to dinner or your friend’s party, but is ALWAYS down to have sex, he’ll never commit to you.
  3. He should invite you over for G-rated activities. Although you might’ve seen his bedroom, what about the rest of his house? He should invite you over to spend quality time with you, not just get you into bed. A guy who can’t even watch Netflix with you without sneaking a hand up your shirt is just looking for one thing.
  4. He should get personal. When you send him a dirty text, he responds in less than five minutes. But the minute you ask him something in an attempt to get to know him better, he doesn’t answer. Sound familiar? If so, he’s not looking to get to know you — he just wants to get to know your body.
  5. His chats should be more than just flirtatious. He should be talking to you about a lot of different things. It shouldn’t just be about flirting with you or being sexual. It’s never a good sign when you’re trying to get him to tell you about his dog, and all he keeps talking about is how he wants to get you naked.
  6. His communication should be consistent. If the guy goes AWOL for a few days, then comes back and cites a hectic week for why he was so quiet, you might think that he’s still into you. Newsflash: he’s not. He’s just hoping to remain in your good graces so he can have sex with you.
  7. He should text all the time, not just when the weekend is coming up. If it seems like he’s always out of reach, but then he blows up your phone when the weekend’s just around the corner, that’s a yellow flag at the least. He knows that you’re more likely to stay over at his place over the weekend, which means that his chances of getting some have increased significantly.
  8. He should talk about the future. If someone is even a little bit serious about you, it’s normal and expected for him to make plans for at least the near future. If he doesn’t, it’s because he knows that he could get bored with you at any moment. This is all about what you can give him right now, and for him, that means a convenient orgasm.
  9. He should be affectionate for the sake of it. When you reach over during dinner or a walk to give him a hug, he shouldn’t always try to grope you or lead you back to his place in a hurry. If you can’t initiate any affection without him taking it as an invitation to start taking your clothes off, then you have a booty call, not a boyfriend.
  10. He should take you on dates. Spending lots of time with him but not actually going on dates isn’t dating — it’s just hanging out and having sex. He should be taking you out and wanting to be seen with you in public if he’s serious about pursuing a relationship with you.
  11. He should spoil you with time, not money. If a guy gives you lots of gifts and takes you out to expensive restaurants, you might think he’s investing in your relationship. But he should be investing his time and emotions instead. If not, he’s likely just trying to buy his way into your pants.
  12. His actions should match his words. The most confusing thing about dealing with a guy who’s only looking for sex is that he can say romantic things that make you think he’s interested. The catch? His actions don’t match them. For instance, he says he wants to be your BF, but then he never actually asks you out on an official date. He’s just saying this to flatter you all the way to the bedroom.
  13. He should take his time to get to know you before sex. Soon after you met, the guy was already making sexual moves instead of taking his time to get to know you. He might try to fool you into going along with this by saying he just can’t keep his hands off you or that you have such a strong connection, but the truth is that he’s just horny. He wants to do you without having to make an effort to date you.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.