Yeah, I’m A “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” — So What?

Yeah, I’m A “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” — So What?

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want to know what’s going on in my ex’s life. I dated the guy for five years and he was a massive part of my everyday life for even longer than that — I think I’ve earned the right to see what he’s up to on social media and in real life. If that makes me crazy, so what?

  1. I still think about him. I don’t see a problem with the fact that I still think about my ex. We were together for half a decade, but now I’m supposed to erase him from my mind altogether just because things didn’t work out? Screw that. While some people go out of their way to avoid thinking about their exes, I actually welcome thoughts about mine. Why? Because I’m not actually over him or the relationship and I want him back. I think we deserve a second chance. It’s not that I’m crazy — I’m just a woman in love!
  2. I still follow him on social media. Why would I delete him off Facebook? First of all, no one’s even on Facebook anymore. Second, on the off chance he actually posts something on Facebook, I want to know what he’s up to. If he’s going to Vegas for the weekend, I want to see the pictures. Forgive me for caring — my ex used to be the most important person in my life, so yeah, I’m still going to stay Facebook friends with him.
  3. I still contact him every day. Maybe not EVERY day, but I contact him way more than I should. I text, Facebook message, Snapchat… I even sent an email once. I can’t help it; I want to hear from him. The fact that he’s not responding only makes me want to talk to him more! Some people may take his silence as a sign that he’s over me — I take it as a sign that I should try harder. I know that sounds nuts, and if it was with some random guy I’d only dated for a month or two, I’d agree. Considering how long we were together and how much I know him, I think this is the right thing to do.
  4. I talk to his friends… a lot. Some of his friends are actually my friends — and even if they weren’t, I’d pretend they were to get information. Does that make me crazy? No, it makes me resourceful! It’s not like I come right out with questions — I just sit back and wait for them to tell me. Guys are gossips — they spill the tea way more than girls do. In a matter of minutes, I’m completely caught up with my ex’s life. Success!
  5. I’ve kept everything from our relationship. Everything my ex ever gave me, I still have. Don’t judge me — I refuse to purge! It’s not like I have his gifts on full display. They’re in a box that I keep on the top of my closet (like in every romantic comedy). What else would I do with his stuff? Give it to Goodwill? Mail it back? IT’S MINE — and I’m not embarrassed to say that I go through that box every night. You can take the man, but you’ll never take my memories of him.
  6. I “accidentally” run into him semi-often. I know where my ex likes to hang out — we dated, remember? Some of his favorite places are my favorite places, like the gym! Am I supposed to miss my morning kick boxing class because I might run into him? Screw that! I’m going to go every morning and I’m going to look as good as Kate Hudson in those Fabletic commercials. He needs to know what he’s missing, and I have no problem showing him.
  7. Not only do I follow him, I basically stalk him. I’m not seeing the big deal here! What’s wrong with stalking your ex on social media? It’s not like I’m going out of my way — I’m usually already stalking someone else before I jump to him. I want to know what he’s doing, and if I have to check Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and LinkedIn to do that, I will. Stalking doesn’t mean I’ve given up power — I don’t have any power! We aren’t together anymore, I can do whatever I want.
  8. My friends are over it. My friends are sick and tired of hearing about my ex-boyfriend — I get it, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop! I stuck by my best friend during her BS juice cleanse (and that bitch was basically Satan for a week). The least she can do is listen to me moan about my ex — I love him and I want to talk about him, goddammit! I mean, what are friends for if not listening to you talk about your past relationships?
  9. I can’t stand seeing him with someone else. If he ever started dating someone else, my heart would seriously explode out of my chest. I’ve actually thought about what I’d do if my ex was in a new relationship — every scenario revolves around sabotage (even though I know in reality I’m not that petty).
  10. I’m still planning our future. I don’t think it’s crazy to want to be with someone. Whatever happened to “YOLO”? This is the only life I’m going to get — I want to spend it with my ex-boyfriend (except I don’t want him to be my ex anymore). I know that he’ll eventually come around and see the light! I’m not weak, crazy, or low key psychotic — I just have hope.
Jordan White is a lifestyle, sex, and relationship freelance writer with a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about. She is based in Scottsdale, Arizona and despises the heat more than anything. Living is one of her favorite hobbies.