To The Ex Who Wouldn’t Let Me Move On

To The Ex Who Wouldn’t Let Me Move On ©iStock/kupicoo

When we broke up, I was heartbroken — but unlike most breakups, you didn’t disappear from my life. We had some space at first, but soon enough we were back to acting like we were still in a relationship… even though we technically weren’t. I thought we were getting back together but in reality, you were just trying to keep me from moving on.

  1. You kept me in limbo. We weren’t together but we didn’t act broken up either. In fact, we acted almost exactly the same when we were no longer together as when we were. The only difference was the label, and that was the part you held over me.
  2. You led me on. You gave me hope that someday we’d be together again but deep down you knew we never would be. You didn’t want me anymore but you kept me around as your backup plan. You wanted someone to fall back on in case you never found someone else. I was second best but I never knew.
  3. I wasted so much time on you. You sure as hell took your time figuring out what you wanted. In the end, what you wanted wasn’t even me. I gave you time and space. I waited patiently for you to figure out your feelings for me, but during that time you took me for granted. You made me play the part of your girlfriend when I could have been taking that time to move on. Shame on you.
  4. You made me believe I was the problem. I thought I needed to change myself for you. I didn’t realize it at the time, but looking back, I should have known you didn’t love me. You wanted me to be someone I wasn’t. You wanted to make me the problem and for you to play the role of the great guy I didn’t appreciate, but it was the opposite. I know that now.
  5. You weren’t the guy I fell in love with. At the end, I barely recognized you. You changed over the course of our relationship and that change was for the worse. We weren’t the same two kids who fell in love anymore. We were different people. You wanted me to be someone else and I wanted you to be the person that you were. I didn’t love you anymore — I loved who you used to be.
  6. I don’t believe in getting back together. Not anymore. You either care enough to make things work the first time or you move on. I believe in second chances, but not when it comes to relationships. With you, I was willing to try again, but I learned my lesson and I’ll never repeat that same mistake.
  7. You used me to help yourself move on. That’s something I’ll never forget. It was like you were hiding away in your time with me until someone better came along. I was your girlfriend, then your sort of ex-girlfriend and then your rebound. Before I knew it, you had moved on and I was stuck back at square one.
  8. I’m finally moving on. Better late than never. I’m not going to let you stand in my way for a second longer. I have a life to live and for once it isn’t all about you. I deserve real love with a man who treats me right. I deserve a healthy relationship and happiness. You made me feel like I deserved nothing but now I know I deserve it all.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.