He might say he’s ready for the next chapter in his life and that he’s left his last girlfriend behind, but if he’s showing any of these 11 signs, he could be using you to get over his ex. Yikes.
He mentions her right away.
Talking about exes doesn’t have to be taboo early on in a relationship, but if he seems to mention her regularly and right from the start, that could be a red flag that she’s still on his mind.
He still has issues with her.
You know what they say: the opposite of love isn’t hate but indifference. If he looks pissed off or sad when what she did to him comes up in conversation, it has to make you wonder if he’s moved on from her. And it begs the question: Why is he dating again if he’s not over her?
He moved on fast.
He had an intense relationship and/or breakup but he moved on to dating again in, like, weeks? Yikes. Clearly he’s looking for a distraction, which brings us to the next point…
He’s moving fast with you.
If you know he’s just out of a breakup and/or he talks about his ex a lot and now he’s trying to rush you through dating milestones, it can make you want to stop to catch your breath – and ask yourself just how far he’s willing to try to lie to himself that he’s ready for something serious. Because he’s not, and it’s not fair on you.
He avoids places where they used to hang out.
If he mentions places where he used to spend his time when his ex was in his life but he never takes you to those places, you might find yourself wondering if he’s trying to avoid bumping into her. Hey, if you can’t deal with running into your ex even after you’ve both moved on, something’s off.
He talks about how different you are.
While it might feel like a compliment, a guy should never compare you to his ex. Even if he’s saying things like, “You’re so much more chilled than her” or “You’re so much less high-maintenance,” it’s still not a compliment because it can make you feel like he’s trying to find the complete opposite of what she was in order to get over her. It’s not about you, but his issues!
His last relationship damaged him.
If he talks about how his ex caused him to get trust issues or rethink commitment, that’s a huge warning sign that he’s not looking for anything serious with you. He might genuinely want to have a future with you but at the same time, the guy’s basically telling you to run in the other direction.
He says he loves the present time.
While it’s great to love the present moment and make the most of life, he can’t use that as a reason for why he doesn’t want to talk about having a future with you. TBH, he might just be using that as an excuse for why he’s still hung up about his ex or just not over their breakup. You deserve more than just today.
He talks your ear off about the breakup.
If it feels like he talks to you about his ex and their traumatic breakup as though you’re a psychologist, it’s clear that he’s got unresolved issues. Calling you late at night to moan about his ex is not what a potential boyfriend should do. It’s an emotional booty call you don’t need!
He acts weird around her.
If he and his ex are still friends, that’s one thing. But if you see how he behaves totally differently around her or treats you differently when she’s around, the guy’s still making her a priority in his life. You’re never going to be number one.
He doesn’t talk about his feelings for you.
While he can easily talk for hours about how his ex messed him up, he won’t express his feelings for you. It’s like you’re not even in the situation. You’re just someone to warm his bed while he gets over his ex and you’re just a friend who can listen to him whine about his breakup so that he can feel better. Ugh. You’re worth so much more than that.
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