Why Casual Relationships Can Be The Hardest To Move On From

Why Casual Relationships Can Be The Hardest To Move On From ©iStock/PeopleImages

The idea of casual relationships is usually to keep things, well, more casual than in normal relationships. The problem is that no matter what you call it, you can’t really control where feelings get involved, good or bad. Casual can get pretty complicated, and it’s usually better to avoid it altogether. Here are some reasons why casual relationships can actually be the hardest to move on from:

  1. They don’t always require a real breakup. If you’re never officially together, the ending can be a blurred, as well. Sometimes we need a real clear breakup to accept that something is even over.
  2. You can spend a lot of time wondering why it didn’t work out. When serious relationships end, there’s usually a pretty clear reason why, but with casual ones you don’t always get the clear closure.
  3. They’re too easy. By nature, casual relationships are more laid-back than other relationships, which sometimes makes them seem simple. And when you’re feeling lonely on a random day, you’re a lot more likely to think it’s safe to reach out to a casual guy than a serious one.
  4. There’s always the what if. Since it was never an official relationship, there are plenty of ways to imagine what would have happened if it had actually gotten to that point.
  5. You can find a good reason to start up again. If the reason that the relationship ended wasn’t devastating, it’s more likely that you might consider if doing it again has any merit.
  6. You might still be friends. A lot of casual relationships are born out of convenience based on friendships, so that person isn’t necessarily going to be gone from your life when you do end it.
  7. Our wants and our feelings don’t always line up. We might want to stay out of a complicated relationship, but then we get jealous and upset about things as if we’re in a relationship anyway, and sometimes even worse. (And they can have the same reactions.)
  8. You don’t want to seem “needy.” In committed relationships, there’s a little more acceptance when it comes to what you need from the relationship. In casual ones, sometimes it’s hard to communicate throughout them, which doesn’t make ending them any easier.
  9. Fewer people are involved. Getting back together with an ex might bring up feelings for everyone that was around during the breakup, but with some casual relationships, the involvement of other people is lower, so there are less opinions to contend with when you’re making your decisions.
  10. He won’t stop texting you. Without a clear-cut breakup, it’s a lot harder to get the guy to stop trying to hit you up for whatever it is the two of you have fun doing together.
  11. We change our minds. When a relationship is casual, it seems a lot easier to give in and go back on word when the consequences feel lower (even if they’re not).
  12. The sex is there and easy. A lot of casual relationships are just about sex, and like it or not, we can grow some attachment to the people who are delivering it the way we like it.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog ThatsRandomKate.blogspot.com