Your relationship just ended, so now what? Get over your ex by getting under someone new, obviously. While it’s not the smartest thing to do, rebound relationships can be fun. The problem is the “relationship” part. These types of arrangements were never meant to be long-term. If think it’s a good idea to get serious with your rebound, think again.
- He’s too similar to your ex. I get it. You want to make your ex jealous by hooking up with someone just like him. Here’s the thing: It didn’t work out with your ex, so why would it work out with someone like them? Go out, have your fun, and then go find someone completely different.
- The attraction is just temporary. Of course you’re going to think your rebound is better than your ex. At the moment, your ex is the enemy. Everyone’s better. The attraction you feel towards your rebound is temporary. It’ll fade away as you get over your ex. It’s kind of like having beer goggles on. Once the “I hate my ex” haze wears off, the round isn’t quite as amazing as you thought.
- You just don’t want to be alone. You just broke up and the last thing you want is to be alone. It’s even worse if you were in a serious relationship. You don’t really want a rebound or a new relationship, you just don’t want to be by yourself. You don’t feel complete without someone by your side. Gather your friends around you instead. Otherwise, you’ll just jump from one rebound to another and still feel completely alone.
- You’re not over your ex yet. This is probably the most obvious reason you should never get serious with your rebound. Are you mentally comparing your rebound to your ex? Do you keep talking about him and thinking about him? Rebounds are quick relief from heartache. You’re not over your ex, so you’re definitely not ready for another relationship. Rebound relationships don’t work because you didn’t give yourself time to let go of your last relationship.
- You need time to heal. If the breakup was particularly hard, you need time to heal. You’re not emotionally capable of handling another relationship right now. Flings are fine; serious feelings are bad. You need to let yourself heal. If you can’t watch a sappy movie without crying about your recent breakup, you’re not ready to date yet.
- Rebound relationships move too fast. There’s no getting to know you period with a rebound. I’m pretty sure rebounds are where one-night stands were born. Moving too fast is a surefire way to burn out a relationship quickly. The sex might be great, but you’re going to need more from the relationship. Do you even know his last name yet?
- It’s just a distraction. Rebounds are meant to be a distraction. Think of them like your favorite drink – you get a buzz, you feel good for a little while, and escape reality. Rebounds are the same thing. They make you feel attractive, alive, and confident. They make you feel all the things you need to feel to stop the crying and start healing. Enjoy your distraction and then move on.
- You don’t really care about him. I know it might seem like you’re madly in love with him. You’re either in love with the idea of being in love or you just love how he makes you feel. Think about it – how much do you really know about your rebound? Do you go out of your way to do nice things for him? You just want to feel wanted and you like getting all the attention. That’s not love. Rebounds are all about being selfish. That doesn’t work in a real relationship.
- You’re still hurt and confused. You’re still hurting and you want your ex to hurt, too. You think a rebound will do that. The pain of a breakup leads to a lot of confusion and bad choices. You’re not in a good place to even know what you’re feeling. Dragging someone else into the middle of all that pain and confusion isn’t going to make things better. You’ll end up regretting it. Leave anything serious out of your rebound. It’s better for everyone.
- Someone’s bound to get hurt. Are you really ready for a rebound breakup, too? If you don’t think of rebound relationships as extremely temporary flings, one or both of you are going to get hurt. You’re carrying far too much baggage right after a breakup to handle anything serious. The other person is going to resent the fact you’re not over your ex and he’ll just feel used. You’re still going to be hurting and another breakup is just going to make things even worse. Rebounds end. That’s all there is to it.
- It’ll just lead to another rebound. You fell for your rebound to get over your ex. Now you’re breaking up with your rebound a few weeks or months later. What do you next? Another rebound. It’s an endless toxic cycle once you get started. You keep needing someone else to help you get over the last rebound. It’s painful and no one deserves that. Give yourself a break. Set a time limit for your rebound and walk away when you’re done to avoid getting serious.
- It’s all about you. You’re not thinking about your rebound’s feelings or if he’s hurting from a breakup himself. All you care about is making yourself feel better. You’re concerned with your needs and making your ex jealous. Everything is about you. It’s nice to have that completely selfish moment. It does make you feel better. It just doesn’t make relationships last.
I’m not saying to avoid rebounds. I’m just saying be careful. Make sure you don’t get involved. It’s not worth the pain later.