If You’re Crazy About Him Just Because He Does These Things, You Need To Raise Your Standards

Being crazy about someone means that everything about that person makes you weak in the knees — but having wobbly joints isn’t necessarily a good thing when the object of your affection is a total jerk. You might have standards, but you need to raise the crap out of them if these things are enough to make you fall head over heels:

  1. Being nice. Niceness isn’t a skill or a bonus. It’s an innate personality trait that millions of people have and it’s nothing to write home about. Being nice isn’t difficult at all. If you meet someone who does find it difficult, you should run screaming in the opposite direction before you end up being the painfully sarcastic wife in a sitcom or the twelfth victim of a serial killer.
  2. Texting you back. Pushing buttons with your thumbs and then clicking “send” is really easy, especially when so many people spend ten hours a day on their phones. Texting has become a necessary part of communication and the simple act of doing it doesn’t make anyone special. Getting back to someone in a timely manner is polite and a good quality to have, but it’s no reason to be crazy about anyone.
  3. Having a job. This is a basic part of being an adult. If your friends ask about the guy you’ve been seeing and the first thing that comes squealing out of your mouth is, “HE HAS A JOB!” you have screwed up very badly somewhere along the line. Everyone has a job — it’s a normal and necessary part of life. When you express such excitement about a guy having a completely normal quality and you want to look insane, you might as well enthusiastically shout, “HE HAS A NOSE!”
  4. Dressing well. Clothes are a stupid reason to drop your panties. Having a good sense of style is definitely attractive, but it’s nothing to go crazy over. His clothes are his choice and you probably aren’t a factor when he goes shopping. If dressing a certain way makes him feel good, he’s free to do that.
  5. Drinking only on weekends. Alcohol can still be a huge problem even if it’s only consumed on weekends. It’s still possible to drink massive amounts of booze in just two days. Kicking back with a beer or 27 will have the same effects on a Tuesday and a Saturday. Drinking only on specific days of the week doesn’t mean that it can’t become a destructive, unhealthy habit.
  6. Apologizing. Apologies mean nothing if a person doesn’t actually mean what they say. “I’m sorry” is only genuine if the guilty party actually acknowledges what they’ve done and takes steps to avoid making the same mistake in the future. This is very easy to lie about when the other person has no self-esteem and no standards.
  7. Giving you attention. Well, no duh he’s giving you some kind of attention. You probably wouldn’t hang around him otherwise. Showing interest is the bare minimum in getting a girl’s attention and is no guarantee of a relationship. If a relationship is what you’re after, minimal effort on his part shouldn’t convince you of a future where the two of you are riding off into the sunset on a unicorn.
  8. Making promises. Anyone can make a promise, but words hold no weight unless their speaker actually intends to follow through. If there’s no follow-up, then that promise was absolutely meaningless and it will be even more meaningless if they get away with it repeatedly. A promise may seem like a romantic gesture, but the real romance is in bringing those actions to life and actually delivering that zombie paintball bouncy castle extravaganza.
  9. Having good hygiene. All functional adults practice good hygiene. Being clean isn’t difficult and it definitely isn’t swoon-worthy. If “he doesn’t leave skid marks in his underwear” is a standard you actually have to look out for, you need to double check the type of person you’re letting into your life. Sarah McLachlan songs shouldn’t be playing in the background when you discover the nature of your partner’s hygiene habits.
  10. Meeting your friends. Meeting your posse is one thing, but getting along with them is another thing entirely. If you have a solid, trustworthy, sane group of friends, then hanging out with them should be easy for him. Meeting them once doesn’t mean that the guy is compatible with your group, or compatible with you for that matter.
Lauren Clark is a writer and news curator based in Denver, Colorado with bylines here on Bolde and at Inside.com. While she’s vehemently anti-social media, you can find her on LinkedIn.