To be fair, both men and women are guilty of putting people in the friend zone, but I’ll admit that guys tend to do it a little more deviously, so much so that it’s not always obvious right away. To help you ladies out, here are 10 signs that a guy has ruled out romance with you and is friend-zoning you instead. Don’t take it personally!
- He initiates the group hang. If the only time you hang out with a guy is part of a big group, you’re probably in the friend zone. Any guy with true romantic aspirations will want to spend a little one-on-one time with you. It’s possible that he’s just shy and wants you to make the first move, but if a guy shows any resistance to spending alone time with you, he doesn’t want to date you.
- He asks advice on other girls. Some guys will ask you for advice on other girls to make you believe they have other options because they think this will make you want them more. However, it’s more likely he’s doing this because he only sees you as a friend. Even if he just brings up his ex-girlfriend and wants breakup advice, he’s seeking advice from a friend and not a future girlfriend. You’ll know for sure if he tries to turn you into his wing woman while hitting on other women.
- He gives you dating advice. This is one of the biggest signs a guy is friend-zoning you. On the other side of the coin, guys that try to give you dating advice are probably positioning you in the friend zone. The only exception is if a guy tries to manipulate you by skewing his advice to get you to date him. I can’t promise one of us won’t try to use this tactic, but I can assure you that you don’t want to date that guy anyway. Bottom line, if he gives you dating advice, you’re just a friend.
- You’re making the plans. This seems obvious but I’ll say it anyway. If a guy wants to date you, he’ll ask you out. If you’re the one always making the plans, he probably just wants you to be his friend. Even if you guys hang out just the two of you, if he doesn’t mention wanting to hang out again, you’re going to the friend zone.
- He’s a complainer. I’m sure you know this already, but any guy with romantic intentions will spend a lot of time trying to impress you and painting himself in a positive light. If a guy spends his time with you by complaining or asking your advice on something, it doesn’t bode well for your chances of avoiding the friend zone. If a guy makes no effort to ask about you or make you laugh, he doesn’t want you to be his girlfriend.
- He doesn’t try to buy you dinner/drinks. Yes, it’s the 21st century and it’s totally cool to split the check. It’s even fine for you ladies to treat if you want. Still, most guys will play by the old-school rules and make an effort to pay for dinner or drinks when we’re out with a woman. If nothing else, it’ll be a way to impress her and get in her good graces. When a guy doesn’t make an honest effort to grab the check before you do, it’s not a date and you’re in the friend zone.
- There’s no attempt at physical contact. When it comes to signs a guy is friend-zoning you, this should be at the top of the list. Every guy with romantic intentions for a girl will look for any excuse to make physical contact with her. I don’t mean that in a creepy way, but I do mean any excuse. Even if it’s just a hand on your back or a pat on the shoulder, he’ll make physical contact with someone he likes. If a guy keeps his hands to himself, he’s either a super-gentleman or merely a friend.
- He’s only texting. Yes, it’s good when a guy is texting you but at a certain point, there needs to be more. When a guy likes you more than a friend, he’ll probably be down with an actual phone conversation—either that or he’ll text you about potential plans to meet in person. Text-only relationships are one way that guys either push you to the friend zone or keep you on the hook. Let’s be honest, neither option is where you want to be.
- He has a wandering eye. If you can tell that he’s checking out other women while the two of you are hanging out, he’s not serious about being more than friends. Let’s be honest, such a guy isn’t worth your time anyway. On the other side of the coin, if he doesn’t get at least a little jealous if you’re talking with other guys, then he definitely doesn’t like you as anything more than a friend.
- He has bad manners. This may seem a little weird, but bad manners can indicate that you’re in the friend zone. A guy that likes you romantically will almost always be on his best behavior (at least early in the relationship). If a guy is burping, farting, or chugging his beer around you, he has no romantic intentions whatsoever. When he lets himself go, he views you as just one of his friends. Yes, guys are guilty of changing their behavior to impress women, and that’s not exactly honest. However, it can also help you figure out if you’re heading for the friend zone.
