Does the Guy You Want Even Exist? 9 Things Women Want That Are Totally Unrealistic

Does the Guy You Want Even Exist? 9 Things Women Want That Are Totally Unrealistic ©iStock/puhhha

No one’s perfect — neither are men. Here are 9 things that a lot of us expect from guys that are just not fair:

  1. Eyes that stick Men look at women. And they always will — they almost can’t help it. Unless your man’s eyes are constantly wandering or he has a habit of interrupting you mid sentence to ask for another woman’s number (he better not), there’s probably not a lot of harm to it. Let’s be honest, don’t we check out everyone all the time? We do.
  2. Girl-style texts You know the scenario – you send him a cute paragraph-long text and he replies “ok.” Infuriating! And then you start wondering: Does he still love me? Why’s he being such a jerk? Is he starting to check out? Wtf is going on? Relax. Most men just don’t communicate the same way women do — they’re often more curt and to-the-point. It’s not a big deal.
  3. A love of shopping  How fun it would be if our boos would parade alongside us at the mall carrying our bags without an ounce of boredom. Yeah. But probably not gonna happen. Most men have a distaste for lady-run shopping trips just like so many of us don’t want to spend a Sunday afternoon watching football. Tom-ay-to, tom-ah-to.
  4. An interest in feelings There are guys out there who will have conversations about their feelings and where the relationship is going because, well, you sometimes have to do that when you’re in a relationship. But there aren’t a lot of guys who *want” to have those conversations. If you’re looking for a guy who will initiate an emotional discussion about where things are going, or enjoy it when it’s happening, good luck!
  5. A desire for constant togetherness Most guys don’t like being smothered — they need some space. It’s just how they’re built. It’s not a big deal. So if you’re looking for a guy who’s not going to want to do things without you, you’re going to be looking for a looong time.
  6. Grand romantic gestures In an ideal world, a guy would run through an airport to tell us how much he loves us or organize a flash mob to show us how much he cares. But the average guy ain’t gonna do that. It doesn’t mean he’s not a keeper.
  7. Chivalry 24/7 It would be really nice if a guy opened every door, paid for every meal, carried your umbrella, and held up your coat but the average guy wasn’t raised that way — times have changed. Hopefully a guy does some of that stuff but we, as women, have to understand that those kinds of chivalrous behaviors aren’t the only expressions of politeness and thoughtfulness — a guy can be amazing if he forgets to let you walk out of the elevator first. After all, we’re certainly not all acting like traditionally reserved ladies of the olden days.
  8. We want him to get us We don’t want to have to explain why none of the 34 pairs of jeans in our closet work today – they just don’t. And we really wish he wouldn’t look at us quizzically when we tell him why that girl in our friend circle isn’t really a friend but a frenemy. But there are some things that are outside his ability to immediately grasp because, well, he’s a dude. And that’s okay.
  9. And to fix everything We want our guy to come with a tool kit, endless cash, and all the answers in the world. But in reality, guys aren’t knights in shining armor — they’re just guys and they bring their own issues, some of which we have to help them with. And that’s fine, in a balanced, healthy relationship, you both give and take. Neither he — nor you — needs to handle everything.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog