I’m More Scared Of Being Stuck In A Mediocre Relationship Than Being Single

Nothing terrifies me more than being stuck with a guy I don’t even really like. I choose to remain single for now because I refuse to get into mediocre relationships with mediocre guys. I’m determined to hold out for my perfect guy because nothing is scarier to me than ending up with someone who’s just good enough.

  1. It’s why I spend most of my time alone. People ask me all the time why I’m not in a relationship and whether or not I get lonely. Of course I get lonely, but it’s only because I’m afraid of getting into a relationship and then not having it work out. It’s a lot safer to just stay on my own and then go for the perfect once I meet him.
  2. I’m really picky and I can’t help it. It’s not my fault most guys I come across aren’t even close to relationship material or just aren’t my type. I WISH I had a crush on someone right now but I just don’t. It takes a lot for me to get into a coupling with someone and to really believe it’s going to go somewhere. That’s why I don’t jump into a relationship with any guy I see. I want to make sure it’s going to be a good one.
  3. Freedom is the most important thing to me, even more important than love. If we’re not free then we’re not happy. That’s true no matter who you are. This doesn’t mean that I’m against committed relationships in general, it just means that I’m wary of how relationships can turn into a trap without us even realizing it’s happening. It’s absolutely possible to be free while in a relationship but I just really want to make sure that I’m getting together with the right person before I consider it.
  4. I could make one wrong decision and then pay for it for the rest of my life. It’s scary to think that I could say yes to dating someone and then that could turn into us moving in together, which could turn into a marriage proposal, which could turn into starting a family, which could turn into, well… you get the idea. What if all of that stuff happens and then I find out he’s not the right person!? I don’t wanna get stuck and sometimes it’s safer to say no to a guy I’m not totally sure about than to take a risk and say yes.
  5. I’d rather live alone than with someone I barely get along with. Some people are afraid to live alone but I’ll happily embrace it if it means I can avoid living with someone who makes me feel nothing. I’ve made the mistake of moving in with a boyfriend I wasn’t sure about and lo and behold, it turned into a toxic relationship. I was unhappy all the time, even in my own home and it sucked. My new rule is, if he isn’t potentially “The One,” I’m not even going to consider it.
  6. If only I wasn’t so good at judging guys. I would have a way longer list of boyfriends if only I wasn’t so good at knowing who’s right for me. Some girls seem to flit from guy to guy without even taking into consideration who they actually are. I don’t want to be in a relationship just for the sake of it. I want it to be amazing and with the perfect guy and lucky for me, I can tell right away whether or not he’s the right one.
  7. You could also say that I’m a bit of an idealist. I’ll admit it—I want that real, deep love I see in movies and on TV. I believe that true love is possible, so why on earth would I settle for less? I hold myself to a high-romantic standard, which means I’m only dating guys who impress me. I’m not gonna settle for no mediocre bro.
  8. Boring relationships suck the life outta me. I don’t fall into the camp that believes relationships are inherently boring. You know the stereotype that once you’re committed to someone, you just spend all your time doing the same old sex positions and watching the same old reruns of the same old TV shows and go to the same old date spots? That’s not something that I’m willing to settle for. In fact, it kinda scares the crap outta me.
  9. There’s no point in continuing a relationship when both people feel dead inside. I can tell when the spark has died and I trust that he can too. A lot of the time, though, the relationship keeps going like it’s on autopilot and then it’s three years later and we’re wondering how we let it go so long. I don’t allow myself to get cast under the spell of the mediocre relationship. I get out fast. It’s not that I’m a commitment-phobe, I just don’t see the point in being with someone when I feel nothing for them.
  10. I’m really just scared of getting hurt. If you break it down, you’ll find that I’m really just afraid of getting hurt. The way I see it is, if I take control of my relationships, at least I can assure that I won’t get my heart broken again. I can’t let go and trust that every relationship I get into will end up well because past experience has taught me otherwise. Despite my battle scars, I’m still on a mission for a perfect relationship and I do believe that I’ll find it.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.
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