I’m A Total Badass But When I Have A Crush, My Brain Turns Into Mush

I’m one of those girls who prides herself on being independent AF, focused, and fun without ever needing a guy. The problem is, however, that once I actually find a good guy, I get super excited and completely lose my cool. I’m generally a total badass but when I have a crush on someone, my brain turns into mush.

I can’t stop picturing our lives together. My crush starts ruling my life and I can’t do anything about it. All I can see when I close my eyes is our last kiss. It’s not possible for me to stop talking about him even when I see that my friends are bored to death. I even listen to Justin Timberlake and other bedroom jams with a dumb smile on my face.

I turn into a giant softie. When I’ve got a crush on someone, I’m a massive ball of love. I can’t stop hugging people and offer to talk to any friend or stranger who needs to pour their heart out. Causes like helping animals and going vegan also get on my radar and I try to support them all, “spreading the love.” My brain would normally never be occupied by such things, but liking someone turns me into a complete weirdo.

I see the world through rose-colored glasses. Everything looks great when I’ve got a crush. So my roommate is moving out and I have to deal with a whole bunch of annoying paperwork? No problem, good for her! My bank account is nearly empty? That’s okay, after all, love is all we need, right? Crushing on someone turns me into a hyper-optimist.

I can’t stop saying stupid stuff like “spread joy” and “vibes.” Suddenly, I start tuning into this invisible stream of energy and begin preaching joyfulness and love. I sound like a straight up hippie and am absolutely powerless to stop it. My crush ignites the hope that I won’t die alone and I just can’t shut up about it. I even start advising friends on feeling gratitude and offer to send them “good vibes.” I get feelings and I don’t ever apologize for it.

I get weirdly spiritual. With a newly-rekindled belief that there’s someone out there for me, I start thanking “the Universe” and good fortune for bringing him into my life. That’s not the worst. I begin vigorously researching the Law of Attraction and teaching my friends about it. They think I’ve gone crazy. To be fair, that’s not very far from the truth.

I risk being fired because I can’t focus. I sit at my desk staring at my work without really seeing it. My crush is all I can think about, so I turn into a major space cadet. My boss has to repeat things three times before I finally register her words. Liking someone really puts my career in jeopardy and the worst is that I don’t even care. I’m carefree… until the end of the month when I see my bank account, that is.

I get all into healthy eating. When I’ve got a crush, I want to feel and look my best. Coming up with new ways to improve myself always happens to me and I go for Paleo diets, veganism or whatever trend is around. I’d normally never flip the switch on my diet like that, but my brain turns into complete mush and ironically, that’s all I eat too.

I work out like a lunatic. Having a crush on someone makes me work out twice as much as I normally do. Why? Well, the main reason is that I want to refrain from texting him. The other is that I want to look really good naked for the first time we sleep together. I suppose getting my fitness on is not the worst thing in the world, so I can allow myself be a little crazy.

I usually despise shopping, but I upgrade my whole wardrobe when I’ve got a crush. The inevitable “what do I wear for our date?” question pops up again and again. Typically, I feel almost an allergic reaction when I walk into a store. I get suffocated by just looking at all the clothes and accessories. When I’ve got a crush, however, I glide between the aisles like I’m floating, looking for the perfect pair of sexy underwear.

I get super needy and can’t be alone. Being alone while I’ve got a crush on someone is a recipe for disaster. I feel an uncontrollable desire to text him and have a really hard time stopping myself. This is why I always try to hang out with friends and even ask them to take my phone away. I normally love being all alone but when I’ve got feelings for someone, I can’t even sit in my room for an hour. This is just one of those inevitable things that happen when you’ve got a crush.

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