I’ve been accused of being high maintenance my whole life and I’m used to it by now. The fact is, I’m a bit of a perfectionist and I’m not ashamed of it — especially since my tendencies have actually come in handy when it comes to my dating life.
I’m not a brat. Being high maintenance doesn’t mean I expect guys to open every door for me, throw their coats on puddles so I can walk across the street, or pay for every meal. I’m a reasonable gal — I just expect certain things of myself and the guys I date. I have my routines and I like to stick to them. If a guy wants to become a part of my routine, he’s going to have to put up with a few of my neurosis.
I don’t do impromptu sleepovers. My nightly beauty routine is my wind down time. Taking off the day’s makeup and pampering myself is therapeutic in a lot of ways and can last for up to an hour if it’s face mask night. The thought of skipping my nightly routine has actually kept me from crashing at a guy’s house on more than one occasion, but I don’t see that as a bad thing. I’d rather have clean pores and a clear conscience than runny mascara and a guilt-ridden hangover.
I expect a certain level of communication. The first time a guy told me he was “bad at texting,fr” I let him know that things just weren’t going to work out between us. If I’m not worth a few seconds to send off a text in the morning, why should I give him the time of day? Communication is important to me in a relationship, and I can’t see how it would ever work out with someone that didn’t feel the same way.
I’m not quiet about my needs. I am totally aware that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. Some people are so perpetually laid-back I’m surprised they know how to stand up straight. That’s just not me and I’m quick to make guys aware of my expectations early on. I’m a little bit high strung and I need someone that’s okay with that.
I don’t put up with bullsh*t. I have to admit, I’m in awe of all these new dating terms that seem to pop up every day. Negging, ghosting, and back burner relationships all have one thing in common: they’re all ridiculous BS. If I can see I’m not a priority in a guy’s life, I walk away.
I’m emotionally needy. I’ve struggled with low self-esteem for a long time, and I try to combat it by respecting myself and seeking out things that I know I deserve. Despite the fact that I practice self-care, there are times that I don’t feel complete until I get the undivided attention I crave. A guy that isn’t willing to drop everything for me once in a while isn’t the kind of guy I want in my life.
I expect guys to accept me as I am. Social media cracks me up sometimes. I’ve noticed an abundance of perfectly manicured women that post pictures of dirty campsites and write stupid captions like “meet me under the stars.” Every time I come across something like this, I always think to myself that there aren’t nail salons on the Appalachian Trail. You can’t have it both ways! I’ll never be the cool girl or the girl next door. I can rough it from time to time, but I much prefer hot water and electricity and my guy just has to accept that.
It works for me. I don’t mind if some guys write me off for being too high maintenance. In fact, it’s helped me weed through men that I wouldn’t end up with in the long run. I’m living my life authentically and unapologetically. If a guy doesn’t like me for who I am, I’m not going to stick around for long.
I like guys that are a little high maintenance too. What can I say, I like a well-dressed man that’s not afraid to indulge in a charcoal mask from time to time. I’ve never believed the old adage that opposites attract. I prefer to date guys that can relate to me and understand why I am the way I am. I refuse to accept that being high maintenance somehow makes me less “dateable,” it just makes me, me.
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