The mental gymnastics that some girls do to justify their loser boyfriend’s behavior are mesmerizing. No matter how rude or crude the guy is, she’ll magically find a way to make him seem like an upstanding gentleman while everyone else stares at her with raised eyebrows and informational pamphlets about demonic possession. If you’re saying these things, you’re probably that girl (and you need to dump his butt):
- “He’s not so bad once you get to know him.” So he’s a loser to everyone unless he considers them friends? What a load of BS. You should really be saying, “He’s a loser 98 percent of the time but that other two percent gives my nonexistent self-esteem just enough validation to stick around and ignore the backhanded remarks he makes to me and my friends.”
- “Give him a break.” The guy doesn’t deserve a break. He probably acts the way he does because he’s been getting breaks his entire life. He needs a reality check, not a sympathetic shoulder to cry on every time he pisses someone off.
- “Why don’t you like him? You’re being so unfair.” Uhhh… because he’s a complete tool who treats you poorly, takes advantage of your naiveté and doesn’t care who he hurts. Duh. These things seem to be obvious to everyone but you. Instead of asking your family and friends why they don’t like your latest relationship cataclysm, you should be asking yourself why you do like someone who is an embodiment of circus excrement. Prepare for a crushing epiphany when you realize that you don’t have an answer.
- “He’s having a bad day.” It appears that he has a bad day every day. Stuff happens, but at some point you’re the one causing the stuff to happen in the first place. Having a bad day is no excuse to behave like a complete jerk towards people who haven’t done anything wrong.
- “He’s not that bad.” The fact that you even have to say this in the first place confirms that the guy is actually that bad.
- “I’m not making excuses for him.” Yes you are. You have to explain and apologize for his behavior constantly. It’s embarrassing watching you stumble through excuses every time he insults someone and then passes out in a bar bathroom. What you’re saying is BS, and deep down in your empty thoracic cavity, you know it’s BS. Every excuse you make is probably taking at least a year off of your life.
- “I love him.” Why? Why would you love someone who walks all over you and makes a total idiot out of himself on an hourly basis? There is a huge difference between accepting someone for who they are and ignoring alarming red flags. If you’re staying with a loser willingly, you’re guilty of the latter. You aren’t doing anyone any favors by staying quiet and tolerating embarrassing behavior from someone you don’t even have to be with.
- “You’re just jealous.” Yes, you’re right. Everyone is jealous of a lazy, narcissistic loser who brings misery and awkward tension everywhere he goes. Your friends are far from jealous of you — they’re sick of listening to you bitch about your boyfriend and then defending him when someone other than you criticizes him. He sucks. Everyone hates him and they’re probably starting to hate you and your obliviousness too.
- “He can change.” He’s more than capable of doing that on his own, but getting involved with someone with the intention of changing him makes YOU an idiot. You can’t pick a person who barely passes the minimum requirements for a functional human and then sculpt him into something you consider ideal. You are not a boyfriend Michelangelo.
- “But he’s hot.” Yes. This is a completely valid reason to let someone treat you like crap
for several years before you realize that it isn’t worth it. Looks are all that matter and everything else should be disregarded, no matter how miserable you are. Barf. If you’re lusting after someone whose only redeeming quality is their appearance, you’re shallow. You should be more concerned with fixing that instead of trying to justify why you’re dating a loser.
