Secret Ways To Make A Man Obsessed With You, According To A Guy: 21 Failproof Tips

Have you ever met a guy and ended up liking them so much that you became obsessed with him? Well, what if the shoe was on the other foot? After all, you ladies should be striving to make guys go nuts for you rather than the other way around. It’s not as farfetched as you think if you just play your cards right. With that said, here are 10 things you can do to help make a man become obsessed with you.

Yes, you do have to work to attract a man’s attention

Sure, you’re hot and have a ton to offer, but that doesn’t mean guys are simply going to fall at your feet. Some might, but a lot will want you to put in a bit of effort too. Guys hate worrying that our advances are going to be rejected or that our interest is one-sided. So, while it’s totally understandable that you want to make him obsessed with you, you’ll need to be (at least a little bit) obsessed right back. This will put him at ease and make him feel less like he’s going to get shut down if he makes a move.

Plus, for all the amazing qualities you have, not all of them are going to be on display at first glance. You have to show them off to us guys. Let us see all the stuff that makes you such a catch. That means putting in the work. Just make sure it’s for a guy who’s worth it.

How to make him obsessed with you, whether it’s your boyfriend or a new guy you’re dating

  1. Have confidence. People are always going to be drawn to confidence. That’s just the way the world works. There’s something undeniably attractive about a woman who is confident and comfortable in her own skin. Even if you have to fake it until you make it, that should vibe you send out. I mean, no guy dreams about settling down with an insecure woman. Show everyone that you’re a confident person and that man will become obsessed with you because he’ll sense that there’s something special about you.
  2. Show off your smarts. You should never dull your shine for a guy. Believe it or not, most of us adore smart women who can carry a conversation and share interesting ideas with us. It keeps us wondering what you’re going to say next and makes us obsess over more than your looks. We’ll also be excited to spend more time with you, which is a byproduct of obsession.
  3. Be kind. Just be nice to other people. Sometimes it can be as simple as that. It’s not always easy to be kind and compassionate to everyone you come across in life, not just the guy you’re dating. It’s something that will make a man obsessed with you because it makes you stand out. Also, kindness is something that is undeniably appealing to most guys.
  4. Having a life outside the relationship. Frankly, he won’t have time to become obsessed with you if everything revolves around the relationship. You need to have things going on outside of the relationship to keep a guy interested and fuel his infatuation with you. You can’t make a guy obsessed with you if you’re always available to him. That’s why it’s important to maintain an interesting life outside of the relationship.
  5. Be subtle. Obviously, you want him to know that you’re interested in him, but you don’t want to overdo it. You don’t want to act like you’re chasing after him or you’re obsessed with him. Play it cool and play just a little hard to get. When your actions are subtle with regard to how you feel about a man, it creates just enough space for him to start chasing you and becoming obsessed with you.
  6. Don’t rush to text him back. Admittedly, this feels a little bit like a game, but that’s okay. This is all part of not always being available to him so that he has an opportunity to become obsessed. That doesn’t mean you’re purposely not texting him back right away. Just don’t go out of your way to make sure you text him immediately. Odds are, he’s not doing the same for you anyway.
  7. Make his friends like you. Of course, it’s always a good thing when a guy’s friends like you. But if you can get them to really like you, this is one way to make him obsessed. If a guy’s friends like you, he’ll want you even more because he’ll realize how great you are and how jealous his friends are that he has you.
  8. Leave something to the imagination. Naturally, you’ll want to dress nicely to make the guy you like find you attractive, but you don’t want to be over the top. You want a guy’s attention but you need to leave him wanting more. If you force him to use his imagination, he’ll keep thinking about you and slowly become more infatuated with you.
  9. Be spontaneous. Spontaneity is just a great quality for a woman to have. It usually means that she’s fun and exciting to be around. It keeps a guy interested in you because he’s always wondering what’s going to happen next. This will make any guy want to stick around without worrying that he’s settling down or falling into a rut. If you show a guy your spontaneous side, he’ll become obsessed with you because he’ll always be thinking about what the two of you are going to do next.
  10. Make him wait for sex. Okay, I don’t mean that you should make him wait forever. However, it can be a good idea to make him wait a little while to see how he really feels about you. Also, not sleeping with a guy right away can be a useful tactic to make him obsessed with you. Give him some time to anticipate being with you and fantasize about what it’ll be like. Just a little waiting without being too much of a tease will help fuel his obsession.
  11. Let him do his own thing. While you need to have your own life, you also can’t get mad when he wants to exercise the same freedom. As guys, we’re always freaking out about being constrained or missing out on things by being in a relationship, which is why so many of us have commitment issues. If you want to make him obsessed with you, be slightly less obsessed with him so that he can still have his own life.
  12. Be his equal partner and work as a team. While guys love being providers, we’re also looking for someone who can match us and who will work with us on things. We love independent women as well as ones who appreciate that relationships take work. We don’t want to have to pull all the weight. If you’re dating someone, you should be putting in just as much as he is.
  13. Mirror his effort levels. On a similar note, make sure you’re not leaving it to him to do all the wooing. The expectations on guys to be the ones who sort of sweep women off their feet and be super romantic is a lot of pressure and it can be very off-putting to many of us. We don’t mind wining and dining you, but we also appreciate when you do nice things for us too. Put in the same amount of effort toward winning us over as we do and we’ll love it.
  14. Make him feel appreciated. No one likes being taken for granted, not even guys. While you might feel like there are ways in which your guy is falling short or there are things you wish he would for you, that’s no reason not to show appreciation for all the things he gets right. This will encourage him to do more of that. Otherwise, he might stop trying.
  15. Always be authentic with him. If you want him to be obsessed with you, he has to know the real you. That means you need to make sure you’re always being 100% authentic. That includes embracing your flaws, not pretending to think or feel ways you don’t just to please him, etc. Your boyfriend — any guy, really! — will be totally obsessed with a woman who’s self-assured to never dull her shine for anyone.
  16. Be willing to open up and be vulnerable. It’s hard to share yourself with someone else, especially when you’ve been hurt before. Hey, even we guys get that. However, if you want to have a real relationship that’s strong and connected, you’re going to have to let someone in again.
  17. Make him feel special. Again, we guys are happy to go out of our way so that you feel like a million bucks. We think you’re great and want you to feel that way too. However, it has to work the same way in reverse. As guys, we rarely get the same level of attention and effort to make us feel good about ourselves. That means if you do it, you’ll make a serious impression.
  18. Look hot. Men are visual creatures, we can’t help it. We know that looks aren’t everything and that beauty doesn’t last forever, but give us something good to look at and we’re golden. We can fall in love with a woman’s physical beauty — and no, we don’t all want Kim Kardashian. Just make an effort with your appearance. Practice good hygiene, wear things that make you feel sexy, and go for it.
  19. Go slow. Even if your end goal is to get married and have kids, maybe hold off on pushing that narrative right away. Take your time with the relationship if you want to make him obsessed with you — and make him your boyfriend. If it’s meant to be, it’s going to be anyway and there are no time limits on it.
  20. Let him be your hero sometimes. Yes, we know you can take care of yourself and you’re not waiting for a knight in shining armor to come along and save you. However, men have a hero instinct, and activating it is a surefire way to make us go nuts for you. Even if you can handle things on your own, let him help you out every once in a while. It’s a small thing that will have a major pay-off.
  21. Make him laugh. A sense of humor is an amazing thing to have. Men love being around people who are upbeat and fun to be around, and someone who can make us laugh is someone we’ll want to be around constantly. Whether you tell corny jokes, make hilarious observations, or are just a generally silly person, guys love that. Don’t be afraid to make a fool of yourself!

A final tip: What makes a man obsessed with a woman?

Now that you know how to make him obsessed with you, all you have to do is put those tips into action. The thing is, if you’re the total baddie I’m sure you are, you’re likely doing all of that already. In other words, you don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not or do things you wouldn’t normally do to get a guy to like you. All you need to do is be yourself. If he’s not head over heels for that, he’s not worthy of you.

That being said, you do need to put in a little effort to appeal to his base instincts. For instance, letting him feel like he’s in the driver’s seat sometimes. As guys, we have an innate need to feel like we’re in control of situations and that everything that happens in our lives, even in our love lives, is down to our own decisions and choices. If you can master doing that, you’ll make the guy you’re dating or even your boyfriend obsessed with you.

Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.