10 Signs You Shouldn’t Get Married Anytime Soon

Your walk down the aisle will be one of the most important journeys you’ll take in your lifetime, so you need to make sure that you’re ready for marriage and all it entails before you take those steps. If these things apply to you, you might want to hold off before promising forever to your partner.

  1. You already have cold feet. If you’re dreading your wedding day already, then that should be a clear sign you’re not ready for marriage. Making a lifetime commitment is a big step, but you should be excited, not terrified. If you’re thinking of backing out now, then maybe you should listen to your gut before that doubt eats away at you.
  2. You still don’t know how to communicate with each other. Your relationship should be rock solid before marriage. Get the idea out of your head that having a good marriage doesn’t take work, because it does. You’ll still have to fight to bring out the best in each other and continuing loving each other for a lifetime. If you can’t communicate now, then your marriage will only ever be one big fight.
  3. You think it’s just a contract. What’s the point in getting married if that marriage doesn’t actually mean something to you? Signing that dotted line might have some amazing tax benefits, but that’s not what marriage is about. If you think getting married is more about the legal status than the commitment, then it’s pretty damn clear you’re not ready to take that step.
  4. You’re not sure why you want to get married. Are you just getting hitched to have a kickass party? Or are you doing it because it’s what you’re “supposed” to do? Those aren’t the right answers. Taking the next step because you just want to keep your life moving forward isn’t logical in a marital sense. If you don’t know why you’re getting married or even why you want to specifically marry the man you’re with, then you’re simply not ready.
  5. You think the most important part of marriage is the wedding. Do you care more about the after-party than the actual vows you make to one another? A wedding is a one-day ordeal — a marriage is a commitment that lasts a lifetime. So make sure you’re more excited about the man you’re going to spend your life with than what everyone will think of your dress when you walk down the aisle.
  6. You love him, but you’re not in love with him. Yes, there’s a difference, and if you don’t know that then you’ve never experienced real love and definitely not true love. You should want to be with this person specifically: a man you can’t imagine your life without. If you only think he’s a good enough guy or will simply make a good husband, then eventually you’ll realize that you’re settling.
  7. You can’t be open and honest with your partner. Secrets have no place in a marriage. If you don’t have a relationship where you can tell your partner anything, then you’re just asking for trouble. Those skeletons in the closet won’t stay hidden. If you can’t be honest with each other, then getting married won’t do you any favors.
  8. Your relationship isn’t stable. If you’re already having problems in your relationship, then getting married won’t solve anything. You need to have a strong foundation of trust before you say “I do.” You can’t have doubts about whether or not he really loves you. If your relationship’s not secure, then making that lifelong commitment just doesn’t mean as much.
  9. You still want to change each other. You’re agreeing to marry the person he is now, not the person you want him to be. So if you don’t already love him the way he is, then you definitely won’t love him 50 years from now. You have to accept your partner’s flaws, because no man is perfect; trying to change him is just a waste of time.
  10. You don’t take divorce seriously. If the idea of divorce doesn’t scare you, then you obviously haven’t thought marriage through enough. Despite the fact that half of marriages end in divorce, severing that relationship is very serious, so stop taking that idea lightly. You need to go into this commitment without thinking there’s a way out of it. Make sure that you’re fully invested in a lifetime — not just a few years — or you’re anything but ready to commit to a love that lasts forever.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.