Textationships are the worst. Basically, your entire relationship exists through constant flirty texts because you haven’t really ever actually hung out, and if you have, it was only for a short time and it isn’t a regular thing. These types of relationships can be fun and can even make you feel like it’s going somewhere, but is it? Here’s how you can tell if that text-based boyfriend isn’t the real deal:
You sext all the time but have never actually had sex. If you can have hot and steamy text convos on a regular basis but have never actually touched each other, there’s a good chance that you’re never actually going to sleep together. Usually the real sex comes first, so if it hasn’t, you’re probably just using each other for some quick fun without even realizing it.
One or both of you is always “busy.” People make time for the things they want to make time for so being too busy to ever actually hang out is a good indication that things are going nowhere, even if you text literally all day and night. It’s nice to have someone to chat with and it can even feel like a real relationship is being built, but if you’re never able to find time to be in the same room together, it’s going nowhere.
Or you just never actually try to make plans. If you’re both talking about your days and getting to know every little detail about each other through texting but you’re never actually trying to make plans, it’s clear that neither of you are all that excited to hang out. It’s one thing to be afraid to be the first one to go for it, but somebody has to bite the bullet. If no one does, well then you’re stuck in a time-wasting textationship.
Sometimes one of you just stops texting for a bit. Communication is flowing freely and you talk almost every day but for one reason or another, you go a week or even weeks without talking at all on occasion. That’s not a good sign that something strong was forming through all those late night text chats. That’s a good sign that all that you were in for was a digital relationship from the get-go.
Or the communication slows over time. You go from texting every single day to a few times a week and then eventually the only way you’re communicating is through social media posts and messaging apps. This is a clear cut sign that the two of you are going nowhere near relationship valley and you really should get off the train if you’re looking for more than that.
You Snap each other more than you actually talk. This is a clear red flag that your relationship is going no further than cyberspace. SnapChat is fun, don’t get me wrong, but it doesn’t make a relationship. Even if you can spend hours going back and forth, it’s just a time killer. It’s as simple as that.
You feel taken but you’re also lonely. You feel as though you have a real connection with the other half of your textationship, but due to the fact that you never actually see each other, you’re also lonely, horny, and could use a good cuddle. If you don’t know where you stand because you feel as though calling this guy your boyfriend is absurd, then that’s your answer.
You’re constantly wondering if he’s actually dating other people. If you find yourself wondering why he has so much time to text you but isn’t actually making any time to see you, you’ve probably considered the possibility that it’s because he’s physically seeing other people and only chatting with you because he’s bored, lonely etc. If you’ve felt this way, it’s time to accept that he probably is and it’s a waste of your time.
You feel like you know him but are terrified to actually meet up. Maybe it’s been so long since you’ve hung out or you’ve never met him in person, but you feel as though you know everything about him. That terrifies you because when you do finally hang out, what’s there left to talk about? If you’ve talked about anything and everything under the sun but still haven’t made the time to go on an actual date, move on.
You know it’s a lazy way to get to know someone. If it’s lazy from the beginning, just imagine how unfulfilling it would be overall? Textationships aren’t meant to go long-term or even turn into something. They’re meant to kill time. So if you ever find yourself stuck in one, get out and fast. You’re just putting your good energy into something that’s never going to happen.
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