Don’t get me wrong: Relationships are tough, and they take a lot of hard work to keep going. There are bound to be ups and downs, but what if it’s run its course, or it’s just not meant to be? Not all relationships can be fixed, and not all couples are compatible. That’s okay, but sometimes it’s hard to know if it’s just a rough patch or you’re genuinely no longer happy. Here are 12 signs that the thrill is gone.
- You get mad at him over silly stuff. When you were in love, it seemed like you had endless patience with him but now it seems like you snap at the smallest things.
- You’re no longer comfortable with showing affection. You’re just not as into him anymore, and affection – such as hugs, kisses and cuddles – feel forced and uncomfortable.
- You don’t feel the need to keep in contact when you’re away from him. Distance truly makes the heart grow fonder… if it’s fond in the first place. Remember the days where spending a night apart was torture? Yeah, well, it’s kind of nice to have your space now, even for days or weeks at a time.
- You’ve picked up a hobby (or a job) that’s all-consuming. You work 16 hour days or you pick up a hobby that means you spend most days apart, and again – it’s not a problem for you. If anything, it makes you happier than being at home dealing with him.
- You tell people things about your relationship that you know should be kept private. When you’re in love, there’s an unspoken pact where you cherish the other’s privacy and don’t blab the other’s secrets, insecurities and vulnerabilities to just anyone. When you’re falling out of love, the pact becomes, well, obsolete. Nothing’s sacred anymore, or you just don’t think about it when you’re venting to your closest 20 friends.
- You stop thinking about your future together. You stop planning your dream house, or when you do plan it, he’s no longer in the picture. You stop thinking about what your kids will look like, and not even your dream wedding has this guy at your side.
- You’re noticing other guys more often lately. Every hot blooded man catches your eye and you don’t even feel the slightest bit guilty about it.
- You can’t talk about your feelings without fighting. There will be times that you’ll be unhappy in your relationship but still very much in love. A couple that’s happy and secure can talk about their feelings in a somewhat peaceful manner so that those issues are resolved and they can move on with their relationship. Instead, you’ve had more shouting matches recently than in any other relationship combined.
- You’re hanging on to resentment. Maybe he cheated on you, or maybe it was just something he said that you didn’t like. Whatever it was, you just can’t get over it, which is never helpful.
- You don’t put him first. Friends, family, distant cousins… well, they’re suddenly way more important than your man! I mean, Shelly – that girl you spoke to twice at the gym – really needs you to help her choose new wallpaper, so you won’t be able to hang out with your man tonight, even though you haven’t seen each other in weeks.
