Before you’ve met a guy in person, it can be hard to tell what he’s really like and if you’ll have any chemistry when you finally get together face to face. While digital communication leaves a lot of room for misunderstandings, it’s also a great tool for developing a base knowledge of someone. You can figure out a lot about what a guy’s like and who he is simply based on how he texts. You just have to pay attention.
- If he’s chatty via text and keen to make conversations, he’ll be great to talk to. Even if he prefers in-person conversations to texting, if he puts in the effort to send you more than one-word answers and to actually hold a full convo via text, you can bet he’ll be great to talk to when you’re actually together.
- If he uses tons of GIFs, he might have some blocks around opening up. Guys who use GIFs all day long instead of putting their thoughts into words might just have some trouble expressing their emotions. But he’s trying, sort of… just in a way that feels a bit safer for him.
- His mind is somewhere else if he’s taking forever to respond. That’s not to say that he doesn’t like you, just that his top priority is something else. Most people have their phones on them at all times, so he probably saw your text. He just didn’t feel inspired to return one back with any urgency.
- If it feels like he’s doing it too much, he might be feeling a little anxious. When a guy is texting you a little too frequently at the beginning, it can feel slightly pushy. He’s probably not trying to smother you, but he might have some anxiety about you not being interested. If he knew for certain that you were into him, he might relax a little.
- An early morning texter is definitely into you. He wouldn’t be chatting with you all hours of the day if he wasn’t crazy about you. When a guy texts you as soon as he’s up, it means you’re the first thing on his mind. He’s not just looking for a late-night booty call — he wants the real deal.
- Creative emoji choices mean he’s down with the cute stuff. It’s not that hard to throw an emoji on at the end of the text, but if he goes above and beyond to win your heart with goofy images, you can be sure he doesn’t take himself too seriously. This is a guy who’s willing to be cutesy with you and isn’t worried about being overly “manly.”
- It’s not a good sign if he ignores your jokes. A guy that’s into you will be tickled by your dumbest jokes and offer some sort of response. The guys who leave you hanging when you’d prefer to get a response might not share your sense of humor. Even a casual “haha” is better than a question mark or no reply at all.
- Formal texters tend to be organized in life as well. Or maybe they’re even a little controlling. Guys who don’t relax and let their guard down over text are often like that in person as well. They’re probably friendlier in person, but a little more reserved than guys who aren’t too focused on proper punctuation and capitalization.
- If you can’t understand half his texts, you might not get his behavior either. Everyone has met a texter who sends incoherent texts half the time, and they tend to make some questionable or distracted choices in the rest of their life as well. Don’t be surprised if he can barely string a sentence together via text and then rambles on about nothing when you get together in real life.
- If he’s only texting you late at night, he only wants nighttime fun. It’s been said a million times over, but any man who reserves his texts for after dark is only looking to get you into bed. Unless he works the night shift, in which case a breakfast date might be in order.
- It’s a good sign if he doesn’t respond to other people when he’s with you. When a guy is constantly texting in your presence, it makes it seem like he’d rather be with another girl instead. But if he responds to you promptly when you’re apart and stays off his phone when he’s with you, you know who’s got his full attention.
- If he texts back a little too quickly, it could be a cause for concern. While you may just think this is a signal that he really likes you and wants to make sure he gets back to you as soon as possible, it could also be that he’s a little too keen and might be clingy and/or desperate. This isn’t always the case and you’ll need to consider it in combination with his other behavior, but it’s something worth thinking about.
- One-word answers signify a lack of interest. Yes, he might be busy, but he should say that if that’s the case. However, sending one-word answers isn’t just “how a guy texts.” It means either his mind is elsewhere or he’s simply not interested. Otherwise, why wouldn’t he make more of an effort to get the conversation up and running or keep it going?
- When everything is an innuendo, he’s clearly looking for something casual. While there’s nothing wrong with sexting and building up sexual tension is great in the early stages of a relationship, there is such a thing as too much too soon. If every text he sends you is full of innuendo and he keeps steering the conversation back in that direction, hooking up is obviously the first (and perhaps only) thing on his mind.
- Repeatedly typing your name in texts is a little bit shady. While it’s really intimate to call someone by their name on a date or when face-to-face, it’s a little bit weird if he keeps addressing you by name via text. It’s almost as if he’s reminding himself of who he’s talking to so he doesn’t send the wrong message to the wrong person. Is it possible he’s talking to other women and struggling to juggle all of you?
- If all he wants to do is text, it’s probably not going anywhere. It seems odd that someone would want to have lengthy conversations via text without it leading anywhere, but it does happen. It’s possible that he’s bored and/or lonely and wants to make a connection with someone but is either too scared or not interested in an actual relationship. If he never makes any moves to transition your relationship from your phone screen to the real world and resists any efforts on your behalf to do so, you’re probably wasting your time with him.
Qualities of a good texter — how do this guy’s texts stack up?
There’s no one way to text well, but there are a few different qualities that the best texters have in common to keep communication running smoothly and avoid unnecessary frustrations.
- He replies in a decent amount of time. What a “decent” amount of time actually is differs for everyone and depends on the circumstances, but generally speaking, you should be able to feel confident that when you message him, you’ll hear back within a few hours. Even if he’s busy with work or is on his way to hang out with his friends, he’ll send you a quick text to let you know that he got your message and will get back to you later. It’s common courtesy, after all.
- He uses texts strategically. Texting is a means to an end, not something he plans to do forever. He messages you to ask you to hang out or lets you know that he’s running late for a date. He asks how your job interview went or if you heard about your favorite artist performing a concert this weekend. While he doesn’t shy away from chit-chat, he’d rather hang out in person so he uses texting to facilitate that.
- He’s clear in his communication. He knows that texting leaves a lot to the imagination, like what he means by what he says. Sometimes it’s a fine line between a genuine response and a sarcastic one, so he’s always careful to phrase things as clearly as possible so that there’s no room for you to misread his tone.
- He doesn’t give one-word answers or write novels. It’s hard to find a good balance when it comes to texting. Responding with “k” or “yup” really doesn’t invite further conversation but likewise, you don’t really need walls of text when he’s clearly telling a story that would better be told in person.
- He never leaves you on read. Again, no matter how busy he is or what else has going on, he’ll always take a quick second to send you a message letting you know he’ll get back to you later. He knows how he would feel if he was left on read so he’d never do that to you either.