Every relationship is different and definitely has its own unique challenges, but that doesn’t mean you can play by your own rules all the time. If you care about your partner, you need to respect their feelings by being honest, sincere and upfront. If you’re not 100% sure you mean them, you should never utter these 10 things:
- “I love you.” Saying these three words because your S.O. said them first, because you feel obligated or rushed into it, or figuring you should love them because they’re perfect on paper — yeah, those are really crappy reasons. If you don’t love them (or you think you could but you’re not quite there yet), don’t say it. End of story.
- “It’s over.” You may think throwing this out there in the middle of a bad fight or when you’re trying to get them on your side is no big deal. But you should never say you want to break up unless you truly mean it because one of these days they might believe you and walk away. Unless it’s really a relationship-ending issue, don’t make it one for dramatic effect.
- “I’m sorry.” Empty apologies are pretty much the worst, and they definitely make you someone that can’t be trusted. How can your partner believe anything you say if you’re insincere when it matters most? Don’t apologize for anything unless you truly mean it. Your partner will be able to tell if you’re blowing smoke out of your ass and you’re going to have a bigger problem on your hands.
- “I don’t care.” When your partner tells you they’re heading out of town this weekend with their friends, when they say it’s hockey and beer night or girls’ night at the club, when they say they need to reschedule your plans — tell them the truth about how you feel. Don’t just say you don’t care because you’re feeling defensive and hurt because then they’ll end up believing you. You should be honest or what’s the point of even being in this relationship?
- “Whatever you want.” This one may not seem super important since it usually comes up when you’re trying to find a place to go for dinner on a Friday night, but if you’re going to let your partner pick their favorite burger joint when you hate going there and you’re going to be in a bad mood the whole time, that’s not the best idea. Don’t say they can decide if you’re not going to be mature about it.
- “Things are moving too fast.” Don’t say this unless you want your partner to seriously think about the status of your relationship. Sure, you think this is totally fine to say because you’re scared of how much you care about them and you don’t want to get hurt. That’s pretty normal. But they’re not going to take this super well, so be prepared for some fallout if you’re going to say these words.
- “I need space.” When you say you want space when things are going well and there’s literally no reason for it besides your cold feet, you’re not asking for space. You think you are, but you’re really saying you want to break up. Be careful with this one or you might find yourself without a partner at all, wondering what just happened
- “Let’s move in together.” Don’t tell your partner you want to take the next step in your relationship because all your BFFs live with their partners or you’ve been dating for a year or two so it seems like it’s time. Unless you truly feel this in your heart, don’t say it and don’t do it. Sharing a living space is a serious commitment, and you don’t want to have to look for a new place if things go south because things didn’t work out.
- “You’re right.” This is the easiest way to end an argument — so much that it’s become a total cliche. It’s usually the guy saying it just to end the fight, but that’s not always the case. The truth is, no one should be saying this, at least not unless you really believe you’re wrong and you can see your partner’s side of the story. You should never push down your feelings just to make things simpler.
- “You’re ‘The One.'” It’s easy to get caught up in the moment, especially a super romantic/borderline cheesy one, and proclaim your undying love for your partner. The only problem? If it’s the roses and the wine talking, not you. Don’t say this to someone unless you really mean it, because they just might believe you and they’re definitely going to get hurt. Your words matter a lot more than you think.
