In long-term relationships, it’s natural for one or both parties to get bored at times. It’s not the worst thing in the world and it’s to be expected the longer you’re with someone. The key is to be able to spot when it’s happening and do something about it before it becomes a serious problem. If your worried your boyfriend might be getting bored, look for these signs.
- The conversation is dying out. In the beginning, you could probably talk all night, right? It’s normal for that to change since you’ll inevitably run out of new topics to talk about, but it probably shouldn’t get to the point where you’re silent more than you’re speaking to each other. There’s nothing wrong with comfortable silence, but if it feels awkward, it’s a clear sign that he’s getting bored with things (and you might be too). To help solve this, try to find new mutual interests and things that can help you bond. Even if it’s just finding a TV show you guys like to binge and then talk about.
- He checks in but doesn’t talk. If a guy doesn’t ask you about your day, your relationship probably has problems that extend well beyond boredom. However, if he doesn’t ask you about any details, that’s a sign of boredom. After all, that’s just checking in rather than a conversation about your day. It’s possible he’s tired of hearing about your same-old problems day after day. When that happens, you’ve got to break up the monotony a little. Try asking him to go into detail about his day. You could also ask him to tell you a funny story remembers or get nostalgic about something funny from your past. Just try to make conversations fun again rather than routine check-ins about your day.
- He’s spending more time with his friends. If your relationship has been occupying a lot of his time recently, there’s nothing wrong with him spending a little quality time with his friends. But if he’s actively choosing his friends over you, that could be a sign of boredom. He might be thinking that his friends are fun and you’re not so much anymore. To fix this, try planning a special activity that is guaranteed to be fun for him. You can also try to incorporate his friends the next time you two go out. Let him have the best of both worlds and remind him that he can have fun around you.
- There’s no urgency to spend time together. Spending time together shouldn’t be an obligation, it should be something you want to do. However, if a guy is bored in a relationship, he won’t be eager to hang out with you at all. Why not try doing something you know he enjoys the next time you get together? You can also try new activities that you’ve never done before. If that doesn’t work, your relationship might have deeper problems that go beyond boredom.
- He’s always on his phone. To be fair, most people are guilty of this at times, but if it’s a chronic issue, it would be a sign that he’s bored with the relationship. Don’t scold him for doing this. Instead, try to convince him to do something that requires detaching from his phone, even if it’s as simple as going on a walk together. Short of that, steer into the skid and try flirting with him via text, even if you two are in the same room.
- He rarely compliments you. To be fair, this might not be a sign of boredom. This could be a sign that he’s just super-comfortable with your relationship. However, he could be bored and no longer paying attention to your relationship if the compliments stop. If it bothers you, telling him isn’t a bad idea. You could also go fishing for compliments by making a change to your appearance. It should be obvious so you know if he’s paying attention or has completely checked out of the relationship.
- He has a wandering eye. When guys get bored in a relationship, they tend to look around at other possibilities a little more. It’s not always a conscious thing; we may not even realize it, but it happens. It doesn’t always mean that we want to get out of the relationship. Rather, we just need a little more excitement. If you notice this, try to spice things up and make the relationship a little more flirty and fun like it was in the beginning. Think of it as hitting the re-start button in the relationship just to remind both of you why you’re together.
- He avoids fights. Couples in healthy relationships shouldn’t be fighting every day, but it will happen sometimes. If it doesn’t happen at all, then you have a problem. If a guy lets you get your way or just walks away instead of fighting, he might be bored in the relationship. That usually doesn’t happen if a guy still feels passion toward you. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t recommend this, but you could try pushing his buttons to see if he eventually reacts with a passionate response. But if you can’t get his blood pressure up a little bit, he may have already mentally checked out of the relationship.