You may not be dating someone, but we all have needs. Whether it’s an ex-boyfriend, an old friend, or just someone random you met at a bar, sometimes a little casual encounter is just what you need. However, with casual encounters come some occasional confusion. You never really know what’s allowed and what isn’t, and no matter how many times you do it, the same questions always run through your head.
“Should I leave?” What’s the real etiquette around casual encounters? Are you supposed to do the dirty and immediately say your goodbyes? It’s hard to tell if he’s just making small talk to be nice or if he actually wants to have a conversation. You don’t want to make it awkward and you definitely don’t want to stay if he wants you to leave.
“Do I stay?” But you also don’t want to leave if he wants you to stay. Is it rude to take off after you’re done? Will he be offended? Can someone just give you a sign?
“Did he like that?” Casual encounters mean you probably don’t communicate as much as you would if you were actually dating the guy. You probably don’t talk much about what you both like, because let’s be real, you’re both in it for yourselves.
“Is he going to get me off?” OK, you’re glad he experienced pleasure, but what about you? Um, it’s your turn now, right? Hello?
“Is cuddling against the rules?” Even if you’re just casually sleeping together, why wouldn’t you want to cuddle? You don’t want to cross the line, and you don’t want to scare him. You’re always unsure of what to do once you’ve finished. In all honesty, you’d love nothing more than to curl up next to him and have him wrap his arms around you. Casual or not, every girl likes to be cuddled. Unfortunately for you, that’s not always part of the rules.
“Is he going to call me?” When it’s casual, he has no obligation to see you again. Every time you two sleep together, there’s a very real possibility that this could be the last time. You’re always going to wonder if it’s going to happen again, or if this was just a one-off thing. Does he like you enough to continue this, or are you just another notch in his belt?
“Where’s the bathroom?” Is there ever a time after hooking up where you don’t have to pee? You think you saw a door on the way in, but how embarrassing would that be if it’s a closet. What if you use his roommate’s bathroom by accident? You probably never got the grand tour, and at this very moment, you really wish you had.
“How many other girls is he sleeping with?” You likely aren’t his one and only. He probably has a whole roster of other chicks he’s sleeping with. It’s not a question of if there’s someone else, it’s more of a question of how many someone elses are there. For your sake, you hope it’s not that many.
“Does he have an STD?” Hopefully you’ve at least had this talk or at least used protection (which should be a given). If you haven’t, you`re always going to stress about this possibility. If he’s having casual sex with you, who knows who else he’s being intimate with.
“How long are we going to keep doing this?” The inevitable will eventually happen. One of you will find someone to commit to, or you’ll just lose interest. But one thing is for sure — this casual relationship will eventually come to an end. It could be in a week, in a month, or even when you walk out that door.