Thoughts You Have When You Get Asked Out A Lot, But Not By The Guys You Want

You’re an amazing catch, so it makes sense that guys are interested in you. Most of these guys that do the asking, though, are guys you would never go out with. There’s nothing wrong with them, they’re just not your type. Meanwhile, the ones you’re actually into never really ask you out or even acknowledge your existence. What gives? Here are 10 thoughts you have if this has happened to you:

  1. “Ugh, not again.” When that message pops up and it’s just another request from a guy you’re ‘friends’ with but wouldn’t date in a million years, it really is a bummer. You know you don’t want to say yes, but you also don’t want to be rude, so you have to think of the best way to let them down easy. It’s not like you think you’re some hot commodity, but the fact that this has happened on more than one occasion is more than a little concerning.
  2. “Am I aiming too high?” You often wonder if the guys you’re interested in are out of your league. Sure, you’re an all-around catch, but the guys you’re interested in are always so perfect — at least in your eyes. It’s about damn time you take them off the pedestal, though, because they would be lucky to have you, even if they don’t see it.
  3. “Why can’t I be chased by the guy I like?” Everyone, guy or gal, likes to be pursued every now and again. But when that chase is always coming from people you’d rather run away from, it becomes less flattering. Just once it would be nice to have a guy you’re totally into crave your attention and go for it.
  4. “Maybe I should just ask him out.” It’s 2016, after all, so you don’t see a reason why you shouldn’t be going for guys that you like. Hell, when you were younger, you always went for whoever you wanted and never felt reservations. These days, the fear of rejection rearing its ugly head is almost debilitating when it comes to asking a guy on a date. Work through it — it could end up being worth it.
  5. “That’s it, I’m done responding to advances.” Instead of giving out rejections like they’re going out of style, you’re just going to stop responding. That in itself is an answer. It’s harder to do that because of how much ruder it is than just being straight with someone, but it’s hard to know you’re disappointing someone or hurting their feelings because you know how it feels.
  6. “There has to be something wrong with me.” If the guy you’re into doesn’t like you, your immediate (and undeserved) thought is that you’re not good enough. It’s ridiculous because as stated above, you’re a catch — but it doesn’t stop you from going there at least once while crushing on someone new who isn’t asking you out.
  7. “Or maybe he’s intimidated by my awesomeness.” On the other hand, maybe he is into you but is going through the same self-doubt that you are. He could be shy or even the type of guy that doesn’t ask girls out because he worries about being rejected. Problem is, if you’re both too scared to go for it, you’ll never know.
  8. “Then again, those other guys weren’t afraid.” When you have that thought that he’s probably scared to ask you out, immediately after you think of the range of guys that DO ask you out and that snaps you right out of it. If someone as hot, smart and great as he is scared of rejection then why are other guys not shy about hitting on you? It just doesn’t make sense.
  9. “This is so frustrating.” It’s a hard thing being dateable but only getting asked out by guys you don’t have a sliver of interest in. It’s like the universe is playing some cruel joke on you, only presenting you with two unfavorable options: go out with someone you’re not interested in or chase the guy you ARE interested in at the risk of being rejected.
  10. “I give up.” You’re honestly so tired of this whole game that you’re ready to throw in the towel and forget guys altogether. How can dating be this hard? For real, though?
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.