Crazy Thoughts Every Woman Has Before A First Date

First dates can be nerve-wrecking, and when you’re nervous, your brain can start to go into overdrive, making you think some seriously crazy things. But don’t worry, you’re definitely not alone. Any of these thoughts ring a bell?

I want to look absolutely amazing but in an effortless way.

But also in a way that he knows I did put a bit of effort into it, just not too much. Or too little. Just the right amount… Is that really so much to ask for!?

Heels? No heels? Shoes? No Shoes? Which Shoes?

Okay, so definitely wearing shoes is a good idea. But what kind? And which pair!? Are the red heels too daring? Is black too demure?

I don’t want to be late, but I don’t want to be there before him.

Showing up, like, two minutes after him is perfect. Too bad he doesn’t have a tracker on him. Oh, there’s an idea.

Memo to self: Don’t mention anything that gives away the fact that you stalked him on social media.

Try and remember the look on your last date’s face after you told him you had seen his vacation photos. Do. Not. Repeat.

I wonder if my parents would like him?

Dude. You haven’t even gone on the date yet. You don’t even know if you like him!

I wonder what his ex-girlfriend is like?

Do not stalk her on Facebook. Resist. Don’t ask about her, either.

I hope he drinks… so I can, too.

Alcohol, sweet alcohol – I need you for social lubricant, but I also don’t want to drink you if he’s not, because then I just know I’ll start nervously rambling on.

How many drinks is 2 too many drinks? 

Don’t get too drunk. Don’t get too drunk. Don’t get too drunk.

How many jokes is too many jokes?

Am I even funny? I wonder if he’d like my joke about the magic tractor?

I’m going to be so mysterious and aloof tonight.

Until, you know, I open my mouth.

Are sweatpants okay for a first date?

They’re just so comfortable. Or will I look crazy? Or like a slob? Aren’t supermodels rocking them with heels nowadays? Can I pull that off?

To shave, or not to shave…

That is the ultimate question.

Time to channel your favorite Sex in the City character.

I think I’ll be Miranda with a splash of Charlotte today. Wait, I don’t even like Sex in the City.

I hope he offers to pay, so that I can offer to split the bill because I’m a strong and independent woman.

But I’m kind of poor, so maybe I’ll let him pay if he offers… but does that give off the wrong message? Oh God, what do even I want?

Should I wear a hat?

Not that you ever wear hats. But a first date is the perfect time to try it out, right?

I Wonder If This Is An Actual Date?

Maybe it’s just a friendly dinner? I shouldn’t assume too much… Or should I?

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