Your Dating Life Will Continue To Suck If You Keep Doing The Same Things

Like anything in life, it’s really easy to get into a dating rut. Going to the same bars, looking for the same kinds of guys, and using the same dating apps means that you’re bound to feel like you’re running in place when you end up with an unsuccessful love life. If you’re dating the same way and getting nowhere, here’s how to switch things up:

  1. Expect a second date. You might be pretty used to thinking that your first dates are going absolutely nowhere. After all, you want to be as realistic as possible, and the longer you’re single, the more bad first dates you’ll likely go on. It’s like single-girl math. But if looking for disappointment isn’t getting you any second dates, why not switch up your POV? Make a change and expect a second date. Your positive attitude just might make that happen.
  2. Ask guys out (or let them ask you out). Think about how you typically get dates. Do you get super brave and make the first move, or do you prefer to let the guy do the asking? Neither one is bad or good; it’s just whatever you’re comfortable with. If you want different results, then do the opposite of what you typically do. You never know what could happen. You might end up dating someone amazing who was too shy to ask you for drinks, or maybe you’ll love the feeling of waiting for the guy to ask YOU out for a change.
  3. Be brave. All about dating apps? There’s nothing wrong with that. But maybe you’re missing out on some amazing guys who are right in front you in the real world. Be brave and talk to a guy in a bar, at the grocery store, or at your favorite coffee shop. Who knows? He just might be your future husband.
  4. Ask for advice. Your girlfriends are some of the most important people in your life, so why aren’t you listening to their dating advice? Whether they’re single and loving it or in a long-term relationship, they have more experience than you might give them credit for. You don’t have to follow the advice they give you, but maybe staying open-minded will make you realize they just might know what they’re talking about.
  5. Give people more time. Do you judge guys within the first five minutes of a first date and think, “Here’s another one I never want to see again”? Everyone is guilty of this sometimes; it’s way too easy to do. If you can switch it up and give people more time — whether you wait until the end of the evening to make your decision, or even go on more dates — you just might realize you were judging guys too harshly before.
  6. Date intuitively. If you’re online dating, you might have a bit of a schedule. You get into a routine and you take certain days off a week from swiping and matching, but make sure you’re spending enough time trying to meet someone. But where is that getting you? Maybe you can try dating intuitively, or when you feel like it. You won’t force yourself to adhere to a schedule, and you’ll realize that it’s okay if you want to go out with someone new this weekend.
  7. Take the pressure off. If you’re single and dating, chances are you feel a lot of pressure. It’s not from your family or friends or society — it’s from yourself. You really want to meet someone and are wondering why it’s taking this long. Do yourself a favor and relax. You’ll be surprised at how much better you feel.
  8. Hold back. One of the most frustrating parts of dating is how totally exhausting it can be to share so much about yourself and your life on a first date… only to never hear from the guy again. You don’t want to lie, but you shouldn’t have to spill your guts to total strangers, either. Try holding back a bit on first dates and you won’t feel so drained after. There’s always going to be time to share more if things go well.
  9. Keep an open mind. You know that you should be open-minded in your dating life, but actually making a point to do it is easier said than done. If you can make it a point to relax a little more in terms of the guys you go out with and dating culture as a whole, you won’t believe how much better your dating life will be.
  10. Let go of your single life a little bit. Sometimes it’s easy to think that you love your life so much, it’s okay if you never meet anyone. But just because you’re solo and loving it doesn’t mean you can’t love dating just as much. Start letting go of the idea that you’re going to be forever single and picturing each guy that you meet finding his way into your world. You just might find that one of them feels like the right fit.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.