Breaking up is hard to do, but it’s not the end of your life. Don’t waste your time worrying that your relationship will come to an end because while you do that, you’re missing out on all the great stuff that’s happening right in front of your eyes. Here’s how to get out of the breakup fear zone.
Remember the awesome life you had before.
You had a vibrant, happy life before your partner entered your life. You weren’t happy all the time (that’s just unrealistic), but you had fantastic times. So what would stop you from having them again if your partner had to bounce?
Know that you’ll be okay.
Sometimes you’re forced to be okay. Other times, you realize that life force is greater than circumstance. You might not know how things would pan out after a breakup, but just trust that you’ll be okay with whatever happens. Hey, you have to be okay because life goes on! Even if you wanted to, you’d never be able to cry a river over your partner forever. The day would come when you’d get up and move on and forget all about them.
Don’t settle out of fear.
One of the worst things you can do when fearing a breakup is sticking around and settling. This basically makes you choose a life out of fear, and that never did anyone any favors! It might be scary to leave a relationship and be on your own, but much scarier than that is sacrificing your real happiness.
Engage with the rest of your life.
Sometimes the best way to deal with your breakup fears is to take your attention away from your relationship. Focus on the rest of your life so that you gain greater perspective on your fears and take yourself out of your head, where things can often seem so much worse than they are.
Don’t listen to what others say.
Yes, you value the opinions of your loved ones, such as when it comes to your relationship, but don’t let others tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. For example, if you want to end things with your partner but your BFF tells you that he’s such a perfect guy, don’t let that hold you back. You’re the only one who has to live with the consequences of your decisions.
Think back to your worst breakups.
You’ve probably had breakups before, and guess what? You survived them, so why wouldn’t you be able to survive another one? There might’ve even been relationship breakups that caused you to fear that you’d never be okay again, and yet here you are.
No breakup history? No problem.
Even if you don’t have a breakup history, you’ve no doubt had some horrible life experiences. Again, the thing to remember is that you made it out of them alive. You still have things to feel excited and happy about.
Don’t be paranoid.
Getting out of your head is also good when it comes to preventing yourself from becoming paranoid about a potential breakup. Being extremely fearful of getting dumped or your partner changing his mind can never result in a good thing. Fear makes you believe that it will prevent bad things from happening, but it doesn’t do that at all. Instead, it just ruins your inner peace.
Take baby steps.
If you’ve been playing with the idea of leaving your relationship, you don’t have to take the huge step of ending things, especially if you’ve got cold feet or are unsure of what you really want. A good way to deal is to take some space for yourself to take stock of your feelings and what you really want. This also gives you a bit of a test run so you can see what you really want and how you feel when you’re not around your partner so much.
See it as a new beginning.
Sometimes you might dread a breakup so much when really it will be the best thing that could happen to you! A good thing to do is think about how a breakup could open up an exciting new phase of your life, instead of seeing it as a dead-end. After all, maybe your relationship is the dead-end and your newfound single life is freedom! See, it’s all about how you choose to see it.
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