We’ve all been on the receiving end of a lie and it can really hurt, especially if you’ve caught your friend or partner lying to you. It feels like such an insult to your intelligence. It can also be awkward. What are you supposed to do in the situation? If you’re feeling stuck or taken by surprise, don’t worry — here are 11 easy ways to reply when someone has lied to you so you can maintain your dignity and overcome the stressful situation.
1. Ask Follow-Up Questions.
Your friend has just dished you a juicy lie and thinks you’re lapping it up. It’s time to be a detective! Ask some follow-up questions to gather a bit more evidence so you can uncover why they’re lying. Is it because they feel awkward to tell you the truth, or they’re trying to play you?
2. Throw Them With A Joke.
Although being lied to isn’t funny, sometimes humor can help you diffuse the stressful situation. It can also throw them off — they might not expect humor in the moment, which can help you to see how they react. Do they look guilty? Do they seem even more nervous? This is telling!
3. Keep It Cool.
Although you’re really mad right now, the last thing you want to do is get angry or lose your temper. It can turn you into the bad guy here, which is a label you don’t deserve to carry around. Try to stay calm so you can gauge the person’s body language better and gather more evidence to figure out what’s going on. (And hey, if you keep coming across people who lie in the dating world and want to change that, check out our sister site, Sweetn. They have research-backed tips, tricks, and tools to help you overhaul your love life in just a few weeks. You can visit them here.)
4. Challenge What They’re Saying.
A simple, “Really?” or “Did that happen? I thought otherwise…” can help you to gently coax the truth out of the person. They might falter and confess that they’re not being real with you, which would be great. At the very least, this approach will make you feel like they know you’re not buying what they’re selling.
5. Use Emojis.
If the person’s lied to you via text, it can be easier to deal with because they’re not standing in front of you. If you’re not sure what to say right now, send some emojis. Maybe a frowning or confused-looking emoji could do the trick to make them wonder if you’re onto them.
6. Confess Your Own Lie.
Sometimes, it can help to show the liar some empathy. Maybe they’ll confess that they lied to you if you open up to them about a lie you told in the past. It’s worth a shot, especially if you’re really hurt by their lie and it’s important to you that they ‘fess up.
7. Tell Them How You Feel.
If the person means a lot to you, you’ll want to express your feelings. It might not be enough to let what they’ve done go, so say something like, “I feel uncomfortable because I know you’re not telling me the truth” or “It makes me feel sad when you hide things from me.” Of course, make sure you’ve got all the evidence that they really are lying before doing this.
8. Choose To Do Nothing.
Here’s a different approach: what if you do nothing? You don’t confront the person and you don’t argue with them. Maybe they’ve told a little white lie that doesn’t have big consequences. Or, maybe you’re not sure if you want to expose them because you don’t have enough evidence. Stay quiet and fly low for a while. That might be enough for you, especially if the person isn’t someone with whom you’re close.
9. Ask Them About It In A Few Days.
Another approach you can use if you don’t want to confront the person who lied to you in the moment, is to forget about it and ask them about it again in a few days. Sometimes, what happens is that the liar will struggle to keep their story straight, so you’ll get to confirm that they’re lying and could chat to them about it then.
10. Think About The Way Forward.
If you’re dealing with a lie that breaks the foundation of trust in a friendship or relationship, you’ll have to take some time to process the pain and deal with it. You can’t simply let it go because that would be settling into an unhappy relationship. It might be time to walk away from the relationship if you don’t see a way to move past the betrayal.
11. Protect Yourself!
It’s not always easy or safe to confront a liar. If you’re dealing with a narcissist or psychopath, it could be dangerous to expose them. In this case, it’s better to hold back and think about things properly before talking to the person, if you choose to go that route. The thing to remember is that you don’t have to if it feels too stressful or unsafe. Look out for yourself!
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