First things first…
I love my guy friends with all my heart. There’s nothing I enjoy more than catching up over some drinks and greasy bar food. That being said, anytime the dreaded “Why can’t I get a girl?” question pops up, I have to grit my teeth because I don’t know how to put it to them plainly. I’d love to give these guys some harsh dating truths but I just don’t think they’ll want to hear them. If they were open, here’s what I’d say.
1. I’m not going to introduce you to my single girlfriends.
You’ve asked me a million times, and I’m always going to give you the same answer. No, I will not introduce you to any of my single girlfriends. You might think it’s selfish, but I’ve been down this road before. I try to set up two friends, but it ends in disaster and I get stuck in the middle of the battlefield. I know you well, and I know my single girlfriends well. If I truly believed you’d make a great match, maybe I’d consider it, but right now it’s not going to happen!
2. Women don’t owe you a date.
Online dating is rough for both men and women. It’s a total blow to the ego when a connection is made, but the girl you’re interested in cools on the conversation and never agrees to a date. Here’s the thing, it’s frustrating, but she doesn’t owe you anything. She’s online looking for love, and presumably, you are too. If she doesn’t agree to a date after a few conversations on the phone, why force a connection?
3. Women date differently.
There’s one thing you need to know about the way women date, specifically online. A woman’s biggest fear is showing up to a date and finding herself in danger. Do you know what a man’s biggest fear is? That a woman won’t look like her profile picture. It’s true, look it up. You need to respect the fact that women are going to tread carefully and may get cold feet. (BTW, if you struggle with this or anything else on the list, check out our sister site, Sweetn. They have some great tips, tricks, and advice on how to upgrade your love life in really effective ways. You can visit them here.)
4. Your online profile is creepy.
©iStock/svetikd
Why exactly did you think it was a good idea to set your online dating profile picture to that blurry snapshot I took of you at a frat house seven years ago? Find some good lighting and show off that goofy grin. No one is going to swipe right on a picture that looks like it was taken with a potato.
5. She’s just not that into you.
This isn’t just a harsh truth for women but guys need to hear it sometimes too. Women aren’t the only ones that get blindsided by getting ghosted. Some ladies really are just not emotionally mature enough to tell you when they’re not feeling it anymore. There’s no point in wasting your time dwelling on ladies like this.
6. You’re moving way too fast.
Pump the brakes for just a minute. I once dated a guy that started talking about marriage and kids within a week and I felt like I was getting backed into a corner. Enjoy the dating scene and stop assuming every woman over 25 wants to settle down and pop out kids. Have open, honest conversations about the future, but don’t set unrealistic expectations.
7. You’re being a bit condescending.
Most women aren’t looking for a sugar daddy, they’re looking for a supportive partner. Although I’m proud of you and your accomplishments, you’re not going to woo the right kind of lady by bragging about how much money you make or by offering to “take care of her.” There’s nothing wrong with taking care of the bill on your first date, but don’t assume she needs your money either.
8. Your expectations are a bit unrealistic.
Although I’ve never believed that “leagues” are a real thing, I don’t think it’s fair for you to expect size 2 models to fall all over your newly-developed basketball-sized beer belly. If you expect a woman to keep herself in tip-top shape, don’t be surprised when little miss thing expects the same from you.
9. You might be a little too old-fashioned.
Bringing a lady flowers and actually going up and ringing the doorbell instead of beeping your car horn when picking her up for a date doesn’t need to be things of the past. A lot of women really appreciate niceties that seem to be disappearing from the dating world. That being said, this isn’t the 1950s. Women can pick up the tab, explorer their sexuality, and drink you under the table. If you’re not cool with supporting equality and feminist issues, that could be a huge turn-off for the ladies you date.
10. Your reputation matters.
Sleeping around is no one’s business but your own. That being said, if you’re still hooking up with 19-year-old college chicks while you’re supposedly looking for the love of your life, no one is going to take you very seriously. Stop wasting your time on women you have no intention of making a future with. It makes you look desperate and cold.
11. Women are wise to the “nice guy” act.
I know you’re a nice guy in real life and so will any woman you date after she gets to know you. That doesn’t mean you need to bombard her with sad tales of women leaving you for “bad boys.” Don’t be another one of those guys that laments about the friend zone on your first date. Just be your awesome self and you will find love.
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