Relationships Aren’t Complicated If The Guy You’re Dating Is Normal

What I’m describing here is not a perfect man, it’s a normal one—and trust me, they’re out there. You just need to stop falling for the emotional wrecks and start opening your eyes to the kind of guy you truly deserve and who will actually work hard at maintaining the relationship.

  1. They have nothing to hide. Normal guys have nothing to hide. It wasn’t until I stopped chasing the emotionally unavailable “bad boys” that I discovered how honest and open men can be. Not every guy is going to have the mindset that no one understands him. I was attracted to guys like this for far too long and needless to say, those relationships always ended in disaster.
  2. They aren’t perpetually traumatized by their past relationships. Not every guy has a battered past. You’d be surprised by how much drama and how many complications arise in relationships solely due to past trauma. You might do something that reminds him of his ex-girlfriend which can totally send him for a loop. What you don’t realize is that his sudden burst of moodiness is the result of not having let go of his last relationships. Choose another guy.
  3. They’re good at communicating. Did you know that there are guys out there who actually LIKE to talk about their feelings? I know—crazy, right? Not every guy acts like he’s an island and some even look forward to talking about what’s going on inside. I’ve witnessed this many times and always end up pleasantly surprised by it.
  4. They don’t lie for their own benefit. There was actually a survey done on why men and women lie in relationships and it turns out that most men lie to save themselves, whereas women will lie to benefit the other person. Although this is disheartening to hear, the survey said that most men lie for themselves, not all. There are still some good, normal guys out there, so don’t give up.
  5. It takes a lot to ruffle their feathers. When a guy is grounded in his sense of self, it takes a lot more than a little argument to throw him off track. A guy who’s got his act together trusts himself more than anyone else, so even if something goes wrong or there’s a disagreement, he knows that at the end of the day, he can depend on himself for the answers.
  6. They aren’t weird about introducing you to their friends/family. There’s no awkwardness when he finally introduces you to his family and friends because to him, it’s not a big deal. He doesn’t obsess over the right timing or whether or not you’re a good fit for his family. He just follows his gut and if he wants to introduce you to the people he loves, then that’s what he’s gonna do—no need to overthink it.
  7. You feel inspired to be yourself around them. When you’re dating a normal guy, you feel normal too. See how that works? By that I mean, you feel confident and grounded in yourself. From the second you meet, it will feel natural, like you’ve been reunited with a long, lost friend. It will feel effortless and that feeling won’t change or go away.
  8. They don’t smother you out of fear you’ll leave them. Guys who are insecure in themselves will do everything they can to make sure you’re not going anywhere. This can be disguised as sending you a romantic text every day, spending every waking minute together, and keeping tabs on where you are and who you’re hanging out with. You don’t get that kind of weird, smothering behavior with normies because they feel safe just going with the flow and being okay with where it takes them.
  9. It’s not always about them. Most guys (at least the normal ones) take pride in protecting and providing for their partner. The overly dramatic guys end up making every event and circumstance about them. It’s always about which one of their issues need fixing and whatever’s going on in their lives always takes center stage. When you date a normal guy, it’s more like a 50/50 situation where you don’t feel like you’re constantly saving your boyfriend from almost drowning every single day.
  10. They don’t turn every little disagreement into a fight. Normal guys have a good amount of experience with conflict where they’re actually comfortable with a little disagreement here and there and actually welcome it as a way to further grow the relationship, not as an opportunity to unleash their anger and rage.
  11. You aren’t guessing how they feel about you because they let you know. Guys who are normal will feel comfortable telling you how they feel about you. They don’t find it too cheesy or lame. They find it appropriate and necessary to cultivate the relationship into something deeper and more meaningful.
  12. They’re comfortable in their sexuality. Some guys will tend to giggle or act immature in the face of sexual discussion or even during sex itself. A guy who’s normal and mature will take sex seriously and be extra careful in making sure his partner is safe and happy throughout the process.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.