For some, the game of seduction can feel insurmountably mysterious and complex. But with a few guidelines, even the most awkward and insecure person can become the smooth-talking man of any woman’s dreams. Here’s how to seduce a girl based on what she really wants.
- Pursue her. It’s widely recognized that men love the chase. Luckily, a lot of women enjoy being chased. Unabashed attention and admiration feel good, especially because it puts you in a position of greater emotional vulnerability, a role that women are often expected to assume. Feeling desired puts a woman in touch with her power, which gives her the confidence to pursue whatever relationship she’d like to have.
- Give her a chance to take the lead. While many women like to be chased, they don’t enjoy feeling like prey. Once you’ve made your interest clear and let her play hard to get, switch roles and let her take the lead. This doesn’t mean you have to make her chase you. But you should let her make the next move, choose the direction of the conversation, and initiate flirting. This also gives her space to reject you. Never, ever pursue a woman who has made it clear that she isn’t interested.
- Lean in. Leaning toward a person during conversation demonstrates attentiveness. You’re showing them that you are fully engaged in what they’re saying and that nothing else around you matters. It also bridges the physical gap between you. It doesn’t cross the touch barrier but it gets you close enough into her personal space to invite her to take things further. There’s also a bonus if you smell nice.
- Be emotionally open. You can argue over the fairness of typecasting every guy as emotionally unavailable, but the cliché persists. Showing a woman from the beginning that you have feelings and are not afraid to show it is a huge turn-on. It shows her that she can trust you with her emotions and that you would make a communicative and understanding partner.
- Don’t move too quickly. If it seems like your only goal is to get her into bed, she is likely to make a quick exit. Moving too fast is a fatal mistake for two reasons. First, it makes you seem shallow and objectifying, and second, it makes a woman feel like you’re taking her for granted. Acting as if it’s a done deal shortly after making an introduction comes across as presumptuous and disrespectful.
- Make her laugh. Humor makes you irresistible. If you can make her laugh, you might as well take a victory lap then and there (though, for previously mentioned reasons, it’s best not to move too quickly). Being funny makes you seem non-threatening, lighthearted, and intelligent. Laughter disarms people and makes them feel comfortable. If you can make her laugh, you’ve mastered one of the keys to seduction.
- Text her. Ongoing communication is an important component of showing a woman you’re interested. If you’re not texting her, then you’re out of sight, out of mind. Sending her little messages throughout the day to show her that you’re thinking about her will go a long way. It doesn’t have to be constant, but keeping an ongoing conversation will let her know that you’re not losing interest just because she’s taking things slowly.
- Be consistent. Modern dating is a saga of inconsistency. Great first dates end in ghosting. Electric chemistry is diluted by the constant stream of other options. And the desire to be laid-back and low-maintenance leads to unspoken feelings. Because of this, you can give yourself a huge advantage over the competition by being consistent. Show her that you are genuinely interested, not just when you see her, but when you’re apart as well. The more you can show her that your attraction is here to stay, the more likely she is to trust you and reciprocate your feelings.
- Start intellectually substantial conversations. Small talk might get your foot in the door, but mentally captivating discussions will seal the deal. Talking about interesting topics will bring you closer together by revealing what you have in common. It’s one thing to find each other physically attractive, but if you can connect on intellectual and emotional levels, she’ll be hooked.
- Don’t sell yourself too hard. No one likes a narcissist. When you’re seducing a woman, the focus should be on her, not you. She should be the one to initiate conversations about you. Don’t let your eagerness and insecurity drive you to boast about everything you’ve ever accomplished. Women are tired of listening to men explain why any woman should be grateful to even be talking to them.
- Compliment her on more than her appearance. Everyone likes a compliment (unless it’s shouted from across the street by a stranger), but make sure to highlight qualities outside of her appearance. This isn’t about substitution. You should still tell her how beautiful you think she is. But tell her the other things you like about her as well, whether it’s her sense of humor, her knowledge of a certain topic, or the way she interacts with other people. The more you can identify her unique qualities, the more she will feel recognized by you.
