Breaking up with someone can be just as painful as being broken up with. You know things just aren’t working and there’s no way to fix your relationship but that doesn’t make things any easier. You still love him, you just can’t be with him anymore — but it’s just so hard to walk away.
There’s too much history.
As you start brainstorming ways of how to end it, all of a sudden, all your good memories rush in while the bad stuff gets blocked out. Yes, there is a lot of history between you, but do the bad times outweigh the good? Probably, and that means it’s time to go.
You find comfort in the familiar.
If you’ve been with him for a long time, you’re comfortable together. You know what makes each other tick and how to co-exist. Thinking of having to put yourself out there again and getting to know a new guy from scratch isn’t a very inviting thought.
You’re waiting for it to get better.
Waiting for a relationship to get better is like standing in the dessert waiting for the rain. It could happen, but the chances are pretty slim. If things are getting worse every time you think you’ve already hit rock bottom, then you need to stop waiting and end things already.
You’re not just leaving him — you’re leaving other people too.
The longer you’re together, the more your social and familial circles collide. You bond with the people who are close to him, create relationships with them, and vice versa. If you break up, you’re breaking up with the friends and family too and that makes your loss that much greater.
You genuinely like being in a relationship (and that means any relationship).
You don’t want to be single but you know you can’t be in a relationship with him. You love the feeling of being in a relationship, but if it’s hurting you more than it’s helping you, then it’s time to step away. You should never be in a relationship just for the sake of being in one. It has to work too.
You don’t want to give up on everything you’ve fought so hard for.
It’s hard to throw away all of the hard work and effort that you put into a long-term relationship. You don’t want to accept the fact that it was “all for nothing.” But sometimes, things just aren’t meant to be and that’s life. Don’t exhaust yourself for another second if it’s not working out.
You’re afraid that you won’t find someone better.
There are plenty of other guys who can make you just as happy, if not happier, than he can. Never believe that there isn’t someone else out there for you because there is. If it’s not working out with this guy, that just means there is someone else that it will work out with.
You’re afraid that he’ll find someone better and forget about you.
Never belittle yourself or compare yourself to another woman out there. You’re the only you there is and even if he finds someone else, that doesn’t mean she’s better than you, and it certainly doesn’t negate the things you shared.
You’re afraid of being alone.
Fear of loneliness is one of the worst reasons for not leaving a relationship. You should feel independent and strong even when you’re in one. He’s not the only person on this planet that is there for you. Think about your friends and family — you had them before him and you will have them after him as well.
You’re afraid you’ll regret it.
First off, there’s no need to stress about things that haven’t happened yet. You don’t know how you’ll feel once it’s over — if anything, you could feel a tremendous amount of relief. Secondly, you shouldn’t regret a decision you know is right. It may not be what you want but it’s what needs to happen, and that’s what matters.
You don’t want to lose him as a friend.
One of the scariest parts of leaving someone we’re in a relationship with is the fear of losing that person completely. Aside from him being your boyfriend, fiance, or husband, he was also (hopefully) your friend. However, if the relationship isn’t right, then you shouldn’t be with him. If you’re meant to be friends, you eventually will be.
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