11 Signs He’s “Relationtripping”

You’re only casually dating—you’ve gone out a few times but you definitely haven’t defined the relationship or even thought about it. Still, he’s acting like he owns you or something. What’s going on here? It’s called “relationtripping” and here are 11 signs it’s happening to you.

  1. He makes you feel guilty for not committing. You’ve met the guy all of five minutes ago and already he’s acting weird about you casually dating lots of other guys at the same time as him. It’s over the top and a classic sign of the relationtripper.
  2. He questions your feelings for him. Because he wants to date you and expects you to commit to him right away, he might question your feelings for him. He might ask if you like him or are enjoying getting to know him. These questions could end up with him asking, “But then why don’t you want to be exclusive?” Yikes, talk about way too soon!
  3. He talks about your connection a lot. It’s true that you might have an amazing connection with the guy, but if he waxes lyrical about it, it’s a huge red flag. It probably feels like he’s trying too hard to make you feel that there’s something worth pursuing between you. In other words, he has no chill.
  4. He wants to know if you’re dating someone else. On its own, this type of question doesn’t mean that the guy’s a relationtripper. It’s normal to want to know if the person you’re dating is keen to have other romantic partners. What’s not normal, however, is if he becomes angry or sad when you tell him that you are indeed dating lots of people at the moment even though you both know you’re still casual. He shouldn’t be having such an intense reaction so early on in your relationship. Heck, you’re not even in a relationship yet. 
  5. He tells you he’s quitting Tinder after the first date. You’ve just left the restaurant where you had a great date with the guy when you receive a text from him. He says he had a wonderful time and wants to see you again. He adds that he’s quitting Tinder now that he’s met you because he wants to be exclusive. Whoa, it’s too much too soon! The relationtripper is known for moving way too fast.
  6. He defines the relationship on the second date. We always say how nice it is to meet a guy who doesn’t play games and who defines the relationship ASAP so we know where we stand. But there’s a time when it’s way too soon to be defining anything, and that’s before you even get to know each other. If he’s trying to use the relationship label on the second date, you might have a stage-five clinger on your hands.
  7. He acts like you’re his girlfriend. He might not DTR but he behaves like you’re already his girlfriend. He could show this by holding your hand or resting his palm on your leg during the first date without even asking if that behavior is cool with you. When a guy seems to be flying solo on a date, doing whatever he feels like doing, it’s a classic sign he’s trying to make things go his way. Basically, he’s decided he wants to be a couple and he’s going ahead with his plan and hoping you’ll go along with it.
  8. He makes you feel like you’re a bad person. Earlier, we touched on how a relationtripper can make you feel guilty for not wanting to commit to him the minute you lay eyes on him. This guy can make you feel like a bad person in other ways, too. He might, for example, make you feel like you’re not giving him clear signals that you’re interested in him or that you’re leading him on by not committing.
  9. He doesn’t like that you want to take things slowly. The relationtripper doesn’t want to take things slowly. He wants to rush straight into a relationship with you. He wants to commit to you and become exclusive ASAP, which probably makes you wonder what’s up. He probably has low self-esteem or confidence issues.
  10. He doesn’t like it when you take a raincheck. When you tell him that you have to cancel your date because something’s come up, he doesn’t take it lightly. He might argue with you about why you’re canceling, which is clearly a red flag that this guy’s got issues. He wants to have everything his way. Geez, imagine dating this guy more seriously!
  11. He tries to persuade you to go on dates he wants. You suggest going for a coffee in the park, but he wants to take you to a pub across town. You tell him you’re not into pubs, but he tries to convince you that it will be fun. There’s nothing wrong with that unless he just can’t seem to take no for an answer. Sometimes, the relationtripper can be pushy. It’s part of his clingy or controlling behavior. So, if you’ve suggested a date but he’s insistent that he doesn’t want to do that but he does want you to follow his lead all the time, perhaps it’s time to take a permanent rain-check on this guy.


Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.