Whenever I’m getting to know a new guy, I’m always hopeful that he’ll be kind, respectful, and avoid condescension, rudeness, and just plain annoying me. However, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard these sentences uttered from a guy’s mouth and when it happens, it’s an immediate turn-off every single time. I can’t be the only one, right?
- “Just relax.” Whoa, what? If you want a woman to really lose her cool, dude, definitely tell her to relax. It’ll totally work and anything she’s upset about – which is often because of your behavior – will just melt off into thin air… NOT. Who has ever found themselves instantly becoming calm after being told to relax? It’s so irritating and such a useless statement.
- “Smile.” No, I won’t, and I’m sick and tired of being told that I should smile. Why should I? I don’t actually care for the reasons. I know other women get this a lot too and it has to stop right now. Women don’t owe men a smile or anything else, for that matter. Consider it a privilege to see us light up, not a right.
- “Don’t be so dramatic.” Fine, I admit I can become a tad dramatic at times – who isn’t? What I don’t appreciate is being told not to be dramatic. Let me exaggerate sometimes and if you don’t like it, then you don’t have to stick around and watch the theatrics, okay? If I’m too intense, walk away.
- “You look tired.” So I had a bad day and that’s what I’m getting for it? What woman would ever want to hear that she looks tired? It’s not a sympathetic thing to say, so guys should tweak it to be a bit more sensitive, such as “Did you have a bad day today?” It’s better to choose that train instead of making me feel shitty about how I look.
- “What now?” When I express to a man, whether a brother or friend, that I had a day from hell and they respond with, “What now?” it’s enough to make me shut down and not want to tell them about it. “What now?” signifies that I’m always bringing drama or I’m always having a tough time.
- “You’ve put on/lost weight.” I don’t want to be defined according to my body. In addition, I don’t need people to have a running commentary about my appearance. Telling me that I’ve put on weight or lost some weight is way too personal. Why do some guys feel the need to mention it? I don’t go around to male friends or co-workers who’ve put on weight and tell them they’re showing it. My body, my business – you’re not allowed to comment on it.
- “You don’t need makeup.” Is this meant as a compliment? Beause it’s not flattering. If I choose to wear makeup, I really don’t need guys to say that I shouldn’t wear it or that I don’t need it. Maybe I’m choosing to wear it because I just love it. While they might be trying to say that I’m pretty with this comment, I’m just not flattered by it.
- “You’re attractive for your age.” Getting upset about being told that I’m attractive “for my age” isn’t about me having issues with my age. I actually love getting older. What it’s really about is how some guys act as though a woman has a sell-by date. So, what, after the age of 25 a woman isn’t just attractive but attractive in spite of her age? That’s what they’re basically saying, and it’s BS.
- “You need a man to help you.” When I try to carry a heavy box or need to change a car tire, I don’t need a man to tell me that I need a big, strong man to do the task for me. Can guys who say this sort of stuff wake up and realize it’s not the 1950s and that shit won’t sail? Also, if I need help, I’ll ask. You know, with the voice I have.
- “Here’s what you need to do…” Ah, mansplaining! Is there anything worse? I hate it when guys just assume that they can deliver unsolicited advice or lecture me about something. First find out how much I know about the subject before you go off on a tangent and act like an expert, jerk! Again, only give me advice if I ask for it. Is that so hard?
- “Real women ____.” I can’t deal with guys who love to throw in what real women do and don’t do. For example, “real women will eat as much as their partners” or “real women aren’t easily upset.” See what they’re doing here? They’re trying to find ways to make whatever they want in a partner fall under the “real women” category to suit their needs. I don’t need a man to tell me what it means to be a real woman, thanks. No real woman does.
