Every couple is different, but there are certain things that should be happening in your relationship no matter who you are. If you’ve managed to bag a guy who does these 11 things, you’ve got a good one and he’s definitely a keeper:
- Apologizes. If he apologizes when he screws up, acknowledges what he’s done wrong and why it was a crappy thing to do and tries to make it up to you, don’t let that guy out of your sight. Owning bad behavior is tough, but if he does it, then he’s a good one.
- Listens to the silly jerk. So he probably doesn’t care about what office romance is occurring this week, but if he lets you talk about the silly stuff without cutting you off and telling you he doesn’t care, then he’s great! This isn’t because he cares about the stupid stuff, but because he’s a good listener who’ll be there when you need to talk about something that’s actually important too.
- Tells you the truth even when it blows. You may not always think this is a good quality, but a guy that will tell you when you’re behaving like a brat or when he’s done something you won’t be happy about is a good guy to be with. Since we don’t have our parents to keep us in line as adults, we need those closest to us to sometimes remind us how to behave. Just don’t punish him for his honesty.
- Doesn’t shy away from PDA. I’m not talking the kind that makes everyone around you want to vomit, but a guy that is happy to be with you in public, hold your hand or steal a kiss is the kind of guy we all want.
- Recognizes when he needs time for himself. Alone time can be hard to come by, especially if you live together. It’s important that he realizes he needs time to decompress, even if it’s something as basic as playing a video game. If he’s mature enough to know he needs some time, give it to him so he doesn’t decide he needs some space, too.
- Doesn’t give you a hard time for ditching him for the girls. Similarly, if he doesn’t mind when go out with the girls and doesn’t give you a hard time for ditching him, then you’ve got a good one. A guy that isn’t a control freak or maniac about how you spend your free time is a worth-while guy. It’s not cute when a guy wants to spend 24/7 with you — it’s controlling and crazy.
- Makes an effort with your family. Have you ever dated a guy who hated your family or vice versa? Point made.
- Tries things you love to do. I don’t think too many men love the ballet, but if he offers to take you then he’s worth your time and energy. If he knows you love it, and wants to share that love and excitement with you even at the cost of his own enjoyment, he sounds like a winner to me.
- Doesn’t make you feel bad about yourself. Weight fluctuates, we have good days and bad ones, and sometimes we just need to cry. A guy that doesn’t judge you through this stuff and supports you in the good and bad times is the one you want by your side for the long haul.
- Doesn’t try to change you. Too many people want to change their partners, thinking they’re improving them in some way or another. This is stupid and doesn’t work. If he accepts you for who you are, flaws and all and doesn’t try to change you (unless you’re working on change, of course), then please don’t screw him over!
- Stands up for you. The most important of all of these to me is if he is willing to stand up for you — even if he doesn’t believe in what you do. If you feel strongly about something, or someone is treating you badly in front of him, he’ll step in — not because you need him to save you, but because there is power in numbers and he adores you. Aww!
