What A Guy Needs To Fall In Love, According To A Guy

It’s widely believed that women tend to fall in love faster than men. I’m not sure if that’s true, but I do know that guys typically need a specific set of circumstances in order to let their guard down and allow themselves to go there. If we forget about the whole “love at first sight” possibility for a minute, here are some of the things that a guy needs to fall head over heels.

  1. Appreciation For a man to fall in love, he usually needs to feel appreciated. More specifically, he needs to feel like his partner appreciates him for who he is. No guy wants to feel like he’s with someone who’s trying to change him. Guys want to feel like they can be themselves around you and know that you like them just the way they are. They want to be appreciated and admired before they can be open enough with someone to actually fall in love.
  2. The knowledge that he’s making you happy Despite men having a bad reputation for being selfish, most of the good guys want to make their partner happy. For a lot of us, it’s a pre-requisite before we fall for someone. Guys like knowing that we have the power to make someone happy. I know, it’s a little old-fashioned and almost caveman-type thinking, but it’s true. If we don’t feel like we’re making you happy, we won’t see the point and we won’t allow ourselves to fall for you. I’ll admit it’s a weird power trip, but I feel like our hearts are in the right place. The good news is that when we know that we make you happy, our hearts are ready to fall for you.
  3. Safety Some guys are risk-takers, but not necessarily when it comes to relationships. We need to feel like our life with a woman is going to be a safe place. We want to feel shielded and protected from the rest of the world. If we don’t have that feeling when we’re around someone, we’re probably not going to fall for them.
  4. His best self Deep down, most men want to be the absolute best person they can be. They also want to be in a relationship that can help them achieve that. That means most of us will only fall for someone who makes us want to be our best selves. We need someone who will challenge us and make us want to be better. This is why we sometimes fall for women that are out of our league because they force us to prove that we’re worthy. If a guy meets someone who makes him want to push himself to be better, there’s a chance he’ll fall for her.
  5. Trust You can’t underestimate how important trust is in a relationship. I’m sure it’s true for you ladies, and it’s true for us as well. A guy won’t let his guard down enough to fall in love unless he feels he can trust that person. He needs to trust that he knows who they are and isn’t being fake or phony. If a guy thinks a woman is honest and trustworthy, there’s a chance he’ll fall for her. Otherwise, there’s no chance.
  6. Freedom Admittedly, this one feels a bit odd, but I can explain. Most guys want to feel like they can find love without drastically changing their life. I know, sounds like a pipe dream, right? They just don’t want to feel smothered or feel like they’re giving something up for love. It sounds a little selfish, but that’s how guys roll sometimes. We need to feel free to live our lives while falling in love.
  7. A Future This might be the most important thing that a guy needs to fall in love with someone. We just hate wasting time on failed relationships and need to feel like there’s a purpose behind getting serious with someone. That’s why we don’t let ourselves fall for someone unless we can envision a long-term future with them. Even if it feels like a silly fantasy world, we have to have a picture in our head of what forever with this person will look like. Otherwise, we won’t let our guard down.
  8. Sexual chemistry It’s impossible to deny that sex is important to men. More times than not, sex is a bigger priority than love, making sexual chemistry vital to falling in love. Men need to feel both sexual chemistry and an emotional connection with someone in order to fall in love. On the bright side, guys can usually sense if they have chemistry with someone before sleeping with them. On the other hand, great sex can make a guy more open to falling in love.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.