11 Times When Your Jealousy Is Totally Warranted And A Sign To Get Out

It’s easy to write off your jealousy, but maybe your mind’s not playing tricks on you. There’s no excuse for flying off the handle simply because your partner laughs at another woman’s joke or has a friendly female colleague, but there are times when jealousy is warranted and may be a bigger sign that the relationship just isn’t right for you. Here are some signs it may be time to say goodbye.

  1. You can’t shut up your inner voice. No matter how much you try to silence your gut, it keeps trying to get your attention. Even when you ask your partner about whatever’s on your mind and they reassure you time and time again, you still feel like something’s not right. It’s not just paranoia, it’s your instincts trying to warn you.
  2. Your partner doesn’t communicate. If you’re worried about something, can you talk to your partner or do they silence you? Do they try to distract you from whatever’s bothering you? That’s not cool. They could be trying to hide something.
  3. They have a separate social life. While it’s healthy to have your own lives when you’re in a relationship, it’s not cool if you feel like your partner is always doing their own thing and not keeping you informed. For example, they go AWOL with their buddies on the weekend and you have no idea what they’re doing.
  4. Your partner can’t keep things straight. Have you noticed that your partner never tells you the straight-up truth? It always feels like they’re spinning tales or contradicting things they’ve previously said. It’s really tough (and maddening) to trust your partner if this is happening.
  5. Your partner still has gifts from their ex.¬†Your partner might still have some old stuff that belonged to their ex, which doesn’t have to be a red flag. But, it’s not cool if they’re always using those things, such as old t-shirts that they wear to bed or intimate photos of their exes that are still around their home. WTF? You don’t need that in your life.
  6. Your partner’s got a history with one of their friends. It’s cool for your partner to be friends with their ex… sometimes. Other times, it’s a red flag that your partner’s up to something dodgy. For example, if your partner doesn’t tell you that they actually had a sexual relationship with someone who’s still in their social circle or that person is always taking their time, that’s a problem. What are they being sly about?
  7. Your partner’s cheated before. Of course, if your partner has already cheated on you in the past, that’s sure to make it difficult for you to trust them. Sometimes the issue isn’t that they will betray you again, but that they might – and that might be too much to have to carry on your shoulders.
  8. Your partner’s not there. While your boyfriend or girlfriend might be present in front of you, if they often seem totally distracted and like they’re miles away spiritually, you’ll naturally feel worried that something’s happening and they’re not keeping you in the loop. This situation will be even worse (and a bigger red flag) if your partner’s always making time for others instead of you.
  9. Your partner’s always micro-cheating. Heck, he or she might not just be charming but flirtatious. While this might not seem to be a big deal, it’s a totally different story when you constantly see how your partner flirts with those around you. It’s a blatant insult to you – they have no respect for the fact that you’re together.
  10. Your partner’s too busy. Ah, this is the classic sign that they’re shuffling you out of their life. They used to have time for you but now it’s like they’re always working or busy with something else. Yeah, they apologize for it, but you’re being pushed down their list of priorities. It doesn’t matter what they’re busy with – the fact is they’re too busy for you and your jealousy is a sign that the relationship’s not right.
  11. Your partner compares you to others. Your partner compares you to their exes and it always seems like you fall short. This is toxic behavior you should never have to put up with in a relationship. It’s clear your partner always finds ways to bring you down and it makes you feel jealous that they’d want to be with someone else. Forget this loser. They don’t deserve you. Instead of feeling jealous of whoever they admire, you should use that energy to get out of the relationship.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.