We all want to be loved, but not all of us end up in relationships with people who truly value, respect, and adore us the way we deserve. While it’s likely not any one person’s fault, if we don’t know how to get the love we truly deserve, we never will. It’s just that simple. Here’s how to seek and ensure you get the love you deserve.
Know exactly what you want.
You need to know what you want if you’re going to get it. There’s no other way to pick and choose a future partner if you have no clue what type of person you’re looking for. It’s always good to keep an open mind because people can be pleasantly surprising, but you should at least have a good idea of what you’re after.
Set standards and stick to them.
To build on my last point, knowing what you want means you’re more equipped to set certain standards for your partner. If you won’t tolerate dishonesty then you need to find an honest person. If the person you’re with falters even once and you know you NEED the truth regardless of how hurtful it may be, they need to go so you can make room for someone more up to par with the standards you set for your future relationship.
Don’t lower your expectations.
We all have high expectations going into a new relationship, but when our future partner falls short of some of those things, we tend to turn a blind eye in order to hold things together. The first time they’re disrespectful, disloyal, or just ungrateful, they apologize with full sincerity and fool you into thinking there will be a change. The truth is that there won’t be. If they loved you the way you deserved, the first mistake wouldn’t have been so huge.
When something bothers you, speak on it. Communicate what you need and do it promptly and clearly. If the person you’re with doesn’t know what you need, you’re never going to get it. If the person you’re dating can’t or won’t understand you, it’s going to be pretty hard to communicate your needs for the rest of your life with someone who’s not likely to ever hear you.
Don’t compromise on the big stuff.
Compromise is a must in relationships, but the big stuff should never be up for discussion. If having kids is a number one priority for you and your partner isn’t into it, neither of you will be truly happy in the end. You need to be on the same page when it comes to the big stuff or someone will always be disappointed and not get the love they deserve.
Never let anything slide.
This isn’t to say that every little mistake your partner makes should be on blast, but the things you let slide at the beginning of the relationship will be the things you end up breaking up over in the end. Letting someone get away with taking you for granted, cheating, or any other unacceptable behavior will only lead to further and possibly more atrocious forms of the act.
Pay attention to red flags.
Red flags are obvious and they tend to pop up pretty quickly. The thing is, they’re always the same shade as the rose-colored glasses we all wear when we’re falling in love. Take those glasses off and pay attention. Those red flags are reasons to leave a person before things get too far.
Seek out a true connection.
In the age of attention over connection (we’re all guilty of it!), it can be easy to get wrapped up in someone that makes you feel good even if it’s in a superficial way. If you put more stock into someone that you truly connect with on more than a physical level, you’re more likely to end up in a truly loving relationship.
Make tough decisions.
Nobody wants to break up with someone. It’s not a fun experience. But if things aren’t going how you want and the person you’re with isn’t rising to the occasion, you need to cut them loose. It’s harsh, yes, but you’ll never be loved the way you deserve to be loved if you don’t let go of those that can’t or won’t love you at all.
Live your best life.
Be authentically you and you’ll attract someone who’s more for you than the people you’ve dated in the past. It’s possibly the easiest way to make sure that you’re getting what you need out of love.
Work on your own faults.
If you want to be loved the way you deserve to be loved, you’re going to have to recognize your own problems, issues, and ways you contribute to failure in relationships. Maybe you self-sabotage or you’re scared of commitment. Whatever your own issues are, work them out, and then you’ll be closer to getting things right with someone.
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