There are plenty of myths about female pleasure that both men and women are guilty of believing. There’s no reason to continue being misinformed—here are some misconceptions it’s time we set straight.
- Vibrators will desensitize the clitoris. This is a myth that many people of both genders believer. There’s an idea that using a vibrator will ruin a woman’s ability to get off from other methods (head, hands, etc.). This is just not true. It may seem like more work to have a partner use their hands when you’re used to coming in minutes with a vibrator, but it’s just as possible as for someone who doesn’t use a battery operated boyfriend.
- An orgasm is the only goal in sex. There are a variety of things that are sought to be accomplished during sex. Pleasure, connection, intimacy, and adventure are just a few. Sure, orgasms are wonderful and it’s definitely great to have them, but it’s important to remember that there can be other reasons for sex. This takes the pressure off having to climax and makes you grateful for other overlooked parts of sex.
- Clitoral stimulation is a bonus in sex. No, no, no. Many women cannot climax from just vaginal penetration, so they need some extra lovin’ to be able to come. For these women (and maybe even all), it’s important to give clitoral stimulation. It should be a natural part of the sex process. Sex isn’t over because a man finishes, it’s over when both parties are pleased.
- It’s OK to fake an orgasm. Let’s get this straight: it’s virtually never okay to fake an orgasm. It confuses the other person and leaves the woman unfulfilled. Maybe it’s done because the woman’s uncomfortable with the idea of getting off outside of her own masturbation, but being honest is the best route. The days of faking it are over.
- Women can only have one orgasm at a time. Multiple orgasms are a real thing, I promise. They may be wildly rare, like special creatures, but they exist. Women are capable of having more than one orgasm at a time and it gives you something fun to work towards.
- Penetration is necessary for climax. Again, many women require clitoral stimulation to climax. Many women can have plenty of awesome penetrative sex and come nowhere close to coming. It doesn’t mean there’s an issue on the male’s part, just a fact of the situation. Only 25% of women say that they can come from penetration alone. Ladies need lovin’ elsewhere to get off.
- Women aren’t as visually stimulated as men. As Huffington Post explained, “Women respond physically to a wider range of erotic imagery. Though women typically rank their enjoyment of pornography lower than men do in research studies, their brainwave activity is just as responsive.” Women just keep their stimulation to themselves, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t being stimulated.
- Women don’t want sex as much as men do. Just no. Maze Women’s Health said it perfectly: “Unfortunately, romantic conventions tell women to passively await male sexual advances, while society at large ‘slut-shames’ women who are deemed ‘too sexual.’ These kinds of pressures inhibit women from pursuing sex as freely as men do.” So, it’s not that women don’t want it, it’s just that the patriarchy is getting in the way per usual.
- Women peak sexually in their 30s. There’s no age where women “peak sexually.” Feeling comfortable in one’s body and with one’s performance comes whenever for each individual and is important at all ages. This 30s BS insinuates women younger than thirty are babies who don’t know anything yet and that women over 30 are too old to have good sex. It’s crap.
- The female orgasm is secondary to male. Female and male orgasms are 100% equal. Always. Just because a woman’s climax takes longer and requires more attention does not mean that it should take a backseat. Sex should take both orgasms into consideration, meaning a man should slow down and hold off on climaxing. Or, if he does get off, he should then quickly see to his lady.
- The hormones from orgasms make women fall in love. The idea that men can have meaningless sex while women get emotionally attached in response to physical intimacy is complete bull. A “love hormone” is released for both sexes, but there’s nothing special released to push women to be infatuated.
- Dryness means a woman isn’t turned on. Different women have different lubrication levels. Some women get really wet, some don’t, and a million shades in between. It doesn’t mean anything about how turned on or ready for sex she is. Lots of things can contribute to dryness, too, aside from natural dryness. Condoms and medications are some contributors. Lube is a girl’s best friend. There’s no shame in the lube game.
