Just Because I’m Drunk Doesn’t Mean I Want To Hook Up With You

Like most people, I love going out after a long week at work, having a few drinks, and decompressing from all the stress and exhaustion. The fact that I enjoy consuming alcohol says nothing about my sexual life, however, so if you assume that I want to hook up with you just because I’m a bit tipsy, you couldn’t be more wrong.

  1. I’m not in my right mind. That’s what alcohol does: takes us out of our right minds. Just like it would be wrong for you to have me sign a contract while intoxicated, it would be wrong for you to assume my consent. So no, I don’t want to hook up with you, and my current blood alcohol level doesn’t change that.
  2. You can’t blame it on the alcohol. You’re still responsible for your actions whether you’re drunk, buzzed, or sober. No matter how drunk you are or how drunk I am, no still means no. If I’m not interested, take the hint because no amount of alcohol is going to wear me down.
  3. I’m not “asking for it.” Being drunk isn’t an invitation for you to violate me. Even if you buy me a drink, I don’t owe you sex in return. I said “yes” to a drink, not to sleeping with you. No matter what I’m wearing, the amount of makeup on my face, or how much I’ve had to drink, none of that leads to a justified assumption that I’m desperate for sex.
  4. If I wouldn’t sleep with you sober, then I don’t want to sleep with you drunk. Drunk-goggles are complete BS. I don’t suddenly want to sleep with any guy who walks my way just because I’m intoxicated. Being drunk doesn’t excuse bad choices — at least, not in my life. So if the answer is no when I’m sober, then it’s still no when I’m drunk.
  5. I don’t do casual sex. The rest of society might be living in hookup culture, but I’m not. If that’s your way of life, then that’s perfectly okay as long as you accept that it’s not mine. I take sex seriously no matter what my sobriety level is, and I expect any and every man to respect that.
  6. Any way you slice it, you’re taking advantage of me. If I’m not in any sort of state to be making big life decisions, then I’m also in no state to have sex with a guy I don’t even know. Stop thinking of drunken women as easy targets. There are better ways, more admirable ways for you to find sex. Taking advantage of drunken girls isn’t one of them.
  7. Being drunk doesn’t mean I’m easy. Just because I like to drink doesn’t mean that I like to party in every other way, too. My alcohol content has nothing to do with my sexual promiscuity, so stop inferring that just because a woman drinks she likes to sleep around too. Those two attributes aren’t related, so don’t connect dots that have nothing to do with each other.
  8. I’m just trying to have a good time. God forbid a woman goes out with any other desire than to find a man. Grow up. I’m out to have fun, not to find sex. Maybe that’s your goal of the night, but it’s not mine. Don’t ruin my night by assuming that every drunken girl in the bar wants a piece of you.
  9. If I don’t know you, then you don’t know what I want. You don’t even know me, so how can you really tell that I want you? Did I specifically say I wanted to hook up? No? Then don’t read something between the lines that aren’t really there. Here’s a hint: if you’re going to make assumptions on if a girl wants to have sex with you, assume she doesn’t.
  10. Be better than this. Is taking advantage of drunken girls the only way you can find sex? That’s just sad. Don’t you want a woman in your bed that actually wants to be there? Someone who would soberly choose to be with you? You can make all the excuses you want, but the truth is being drunk isn’t an implication that I want to hookup; it just means I wanted to drink.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.