12 Signs The Guy You’re Talking To Online Will Never Meet You In Person

It’s always good to approach the first date with optimism, but if you can’t get rid of the idea that the guy you’ve been chatting to online is going to ghost you before your first date, maybe you should trust your gut. Here are other signs that he’s going to stand you up.

  1. He’s a flaky guy. He talks about how he left his friends at a pub and never turned up or he says he’ll make plans with you on the weekend but then never gets in touch. This isn’t the behavior of a guy who’s serious about you and wants to hang out.
  2. He’s catfishing you. You could be getting catfished without even realizing it. Here’s a heads-up: if he seems a little too perfect online or his selfies look a little too much like a professional modeling shoot then he might be lying about what he looks like and/or who he is. This guy is not likely to turn up to a date because then he’ll be exposed.
  3. He talks about making plans. Notice how a guy speaks about meeting up. If he wastes text messages talking about how you’re going to make plans to hang out instead of just making plans, he’s stalling.
  4. He’s a little too much. Yes, there is such a thing as coming across too strongly. If the guy doesn’t even know much about you but he’s always flattering you or making you feel like he’s nuts about you, he might end up self-destructing. All that energy and enthusiasm breaks down, with the result being that he ghosts you before the first date could even happen.
  5. He’s always “busy.” He talks to you for hours on end but when the subject of your planned date comes up, he mentions that he’s a bit too busy at work all of a sudden. This could be his crafty way of trying to slowly fade away without actually meeting up with you on the day of your date. If he’s been busy all along but has still managed to make time for you then his hectic schedule shouldn’t worry you. However, that sudden “I’m so swamped!” situation that comes up and makes him neglect you is a red flag.
  6. He’ll “try to make it.” He seemed keen when you guys planned the date, but now that the time’s nearing, he tells you that he’s really swamped but he’ll try his best to make it. Uh, what? Does he expect you to head over to the restaurant and wait for him on the off chance that he might turn up? No thanks. He might be using this tactic to gently prepare you for the fact that he’s going to be a no-show. What a coward.
  7. He suddenly slows down contact. You guys were chatting loads, but now that you’ve planned an actual date, he’s not getting in touch as often. That’s a bad sign that he’s not too keen on hanging out.
  8. Date deets aren’t confirmed. You know you’re meeting him at your local coffee shop or a new restaurant that’s opened, but you don’t know what time or even which day this weekend.  He hasn’t confirmed important date details, which is a huge red flag. He might just not be that keen on setting the date in stone since he doesn’t plan on showing up anyway.
  9. He made plans ages ago. While it’s a good thing when a guy makes plans with you ahead of time because it shows he sees a future with you, it could backfire. The guy who makes plans way ahead of time might be stalling. By the time the date comes, he’s not going to show. A good way to figure out where he’s at is to mention the upcoming date and gauge his reaction to it.
  10. He never gave you his number. You matched on Tinder and were chatting and making real-life date plans on there. You’re excited, but then you realize you still don’t have his number. Hmm. When the time to confirm the date comes closer, you might find that he still hasn’t bothered to give you his details so you can chat offline. Something’s amiss.
  11. He sends you a text at the last minute. He might not be standing you up, per se, but if he’s sending you a text to say he suddenly can’t make it and you were supposed to meet in 20 minutes, then the guy’s shady. Sure, something could’ve happened to make him have to cancel despite his best intentions, but if his text is something vague, it’s not OK. Maybe he was planning on standing you up all along.
  12. He throws you a curveball. An interesting and surprising way in which a guy might give you a hint that he’s going to stand you up is if you’ve been chatting and then he surprises you by questioning something out of the blue. For example, he might say, “Do you think we really match?” or a similar question that shows he might be having a few doubts about your connection and if he really wants to take it offline.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.