Are You Scarily Single? 16 Signs You’re Starting To Get Desperate

You actually enjoy your solo status most of the time. However, lately you’ve been experiencing some strange emotional responses to the status of your love life and you’re starting to think that being on your own for so long is starting to take its toll on your sanity. Here are some signs you’re starting to act a bit desperate for love because of your single status. It’ll be okay, I promise.

  1. Your stalking has skyrocketed. You’ve always enjoyed a deep social media search on the objects of your affection at any given time, but lately, you’re even weirding yourself out with the information you’ve turned up. Tracing his family ancestry back to the early 1900s is not only pointless but also makes you nuts.
  2. Your freak neighbor suddenly looks sort of attractive. You haven’t had sex in so long that you’re starting to have sex dreams about everyone that you know, including the guy next door who you’ve never looked at twice before now, other than to shake your head in disgust.
  3. You’re shutting down the bar every night. The longer you’re out and about, the better your odds of meeting someone, right? At least that’s your theory.
  4. You think a baby daddy might turn your life around. It’s not that you’d prefer to have children before finding true love, but getting knocked up by a rich guy doesn’t sound like the worst fate, either. Logically, you know this is the most terrible idea ever, but that doesn’t keep you from entertaining the thought.
  5. You’ve called your high school boyfriend crying. Your love was just so pure, and you’re suddenly worried that you made the wrong decision leaving him to go off to college… even though you never questioned this decision in the past, and even though it was nearly a decade ago.
  6. Getting wedding invites in the mail makes you physically ill. Not only is it a glaring reminder that you’re not the one getting married, but now you have to come up with a date for the wedding, as well. What are you gonna do, conjure a man out of thin air?
  7. You’re more interested in “settling down” than you are in getting to know someone. When you start dating a guy, you’re more focused on how to lock him down than on really getting to know him to evaluate the state of your bond.
  8. You’re letting your mom set you up. She’s tried and tried in the past and you finally caved. Maybe Mother does know best? Hell, even if she knows worst, you’re willing to take your chances now. That’s how desperate you’re feeling about being single at this point.
  9. You would trade your hard-earned career for a real boyfriend. Whatever, at this point, you would even give up your shoe collection to find a semi-nice guy to hang out with. Things are getting that bad.
  10. You’ve tried to contact your “last resort” guy. You know, that guy with whom you once made a pact that you would marry if you were both single at 35? He’s already married.
  11. You’re on every single dating site that exists. Even the very niche ones that really don’t apply to you, such as one reserved for farmers and one exclusively for serious mountain bikers. You never know where you might find Mr. Right… or at least Mr. Someone, Anyone, Dear God Why Can’t I Find Anyone?
  12. You’re ditching your girls for mediocre guys. It’s like any male attention feels more important to you these days than a night with the gals. Not a good look even in a great relationship, let alone in a non-relationship.
  13. You have extensive fantasy relationship plans. You know, you think there’s really a chance that you could still snag David Beckham and be a stepmother to Victoria Beckham’s children. Hey, why not? You often find yourself getting carried away in fantasyland and it’s really hard to pull yourself back to reality.
  14. Nothing else really seems important. Every time you leave the house, you’re distracted by the idea that you might meet your future husband any second. You’re not even sure why you came to the grocery store to begin with. Oh yeah, there might be cute guys there!
  15. Being alone is really bothering you. You used to be totally independent, but these days even a trip to the post office is feeling unnaturally empty without someone by your side.
  16. You’re thinking about giving up on love. Don’t kid yourself, girl – you wouldn’t even be thinking about getting out of the dating game unless you wanted it to work out so badly. Relax. Being single doesn’t mean you have to be desperate. Take a deep breath, regroup, and get back out there.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog