12 Sneaky Behaviors That Prove Someone Can’t Be Trusted

Have you ever had a friend or acquaintance who left you feeling like you needed a master’s degree in trust issues? You’re not alone. Dealing with untrustworthy people can be a real headache. Whether it’s dodging accountability, gossiping, or breaking promises, these behaviors are major trust killers. In this no-nonsense guide, we’re diving into the twelve sneaky behaviors that prove someone can’t be trusted. Consider it your trusty manual for spotting those red flags and protecting your own peace of mind.

1. They Constantly Dodge Accountability.

They mess up, sure, but you’ll never hear them admit it. Instead, it’s a parade of excuses, or even worse, they shift the blame onto someone else. It’s like they’re allergic to the words, “I was wrong.” Dealing with someone like this is a headache. You’re left wondering if they’ll ever take responsibility for anything. And let’s be real, someone who can’t own their mistakes is someone you can’t really trust. Life’s messy; we all screw up. But acknowledging that is part of being a decent, trustworthy person.

2. They’re Inconsistent with Their Words and Actions.

These people say one thing and do another. They have a script for every situation and are great at telling you what you want to hear. But when it comes to action, they’re on a totally different page. It’s frustrating and confusing. You start to question which version of them you should believe – the one who makes promises or the one who breaks them? Trust is built on consistency, not just charming words. When there’s a mismatch between what someone says and what they do, it erodes trust, big time.

3. They Keep Secrets That Shouldn’t Be Kept.

Some people have a habit of keeping secrets about things that really shouldn’t be secret at all. I’m not talking about personal privacy here; it’s more about withholding information that you rightfully should know, like they’re playing their cards way too close to their chest. It makes you wonder why. What’s the deal with the secrecy? In any kind of relationship, be it friendship or professional, not being upfront about important stuff just breeds mistrust. If they’re secretive where they don’t need to be, what else aren’t they telling you? It’s clear they’re someone who can’t be trusted.

4. They’re Quick to Throw People Under the Bus.

Some people have this habit of deflecting blame whenever they can. As soon as something goes wrong, they’re pointing fingers, making sure everyone knows they’re not at fault. It’s a real sign of their character, or lack of it. You need people around who can stand up and say, “Yeah, I messed up,” not those who scramble to save their own skin every time. If they’re quick to blame others, chances are they’re not the reliable, stand-up type you need in your life.

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6. They Gossip and Backstab.

When someone is quick to spill secrets or badmouth others to you, you’ve got to wonder what they’re saying when you’re not around. This kind of behavior screams untrustworthiness. It’s not just mean-spirited; it’s a sign they don’t respect the privacy or integrity of others. If they’re backstabbing their friends, you can bet they’ll do the same to you. Trustworthy people don’t create drama; they respect confidentiality and speak honestly.

7. They’re Manipulative and Controlling.

People who can’t be trusted have a knack for twisting situations and people to suit their needs. It’s like they’re playing chess with people’s lives. They might use guilt, flattery, or even deceit to get their way. This behavior is toxic. It’s not just about them wanting control; it’s how they disregard others’ feelings and autonomy in the process. If you feel like you’re being manipulated or controlled, trust your gut. That’s not a healthy dynamic, and it’s certainly not one built on trust.

8. They Break Promises Repeatedly.

If someone consistently fails to keep their word, it’s a glaring trust issue. It’s not about a one-off slip; it’s a pattern. When promises are broken repeatedly, it shows a lack of respect and commitment. It tells you that their word doesn’t mean much, and neither do the people they make promises to. You need people in your life who stick to their word – anything less is a recipe for disappointment.

9. They’re Only Around When They Need Something.

Ever noticed how some people are all buddy-buddy when they need a favor, but vanish into thin air otherwise? They’re like those friends who pop up only when they want something from you. It’s a one-way street with them. This behavior is a huge red flag. It shows they’re more interested in what you can do for them than in a genuine relationship. Real friends are there through thick and thin, not just when it’s convenient. If someone’s only around when they need something, it’s clear they’re not in it for the right reasons.

10. They Play the Victim Card Excessively.

Some people seem to turn every situation into their personal pity party. They’re the eternal victims, and it’s exhausting. Playing the victim card excessively is a sign of someone who avoids taking responsibility. It’s like they’re allergic to admitting their role in their own problems. Instead, they blame the world for their woes. Trustworthy people own their mistakes and face challenges head-on. If someone’s always the victim, they’re not someone you can count on to be upfront and honest.

11. They’re quick to share other people’s secrets.

A true friend keeps your confidences safe. But some people just can’t resist the temptation to spill the beans about others’ secrets. They might act like it’s no big deal, but it’s a major breach of trust. Sharing other people’s secrets, especially when they’ve trusted you with them, is a serious no-go. It’s not just about respecting privacy; it’s about respecting the bonds of trust. If someone can’t keep their lips sealed, it’s a surefire sign they can’t be trusted with your own secrets.

12. They Have a History of lying.

A track record of dishonesty is a glaring warning sign, and some people seem to be professional liars. They’ve been at it for so long that they could write a manual on deception. It’s not just the occasional white lie; it’s a pattern of dishonesty. When someone has a long history of lying, it’s a major trust breaker. You’re constantly left wondering if they’re telling the truth or spinning another tale. Trustworthy people value honesty and integrity. If someone can’t be straightforward with you, it’s time to question their reliability.

13. They don’t seem to care about anyone’s feelings but their own.

Ever met someone who’s just self-absorbed to the max? They couldn’t care less about your feelings or anyone else’s; it’s all about them. They’ll bulldoze over others’ emotions without a second thought. This lack of empathy is a clear sign of an untrustworthy person. Trustworthy folks are considerate of others and their feelings. If someone shows a total disregard for how their actions affect others, it’s a warning sign that they’re not someone you can trust with your own emotions.

Gail is Bolde's social media and partnership manager, as well as an all-around behind-the-scenes renaissance woman. She worked for more than 25 years in her city's local government before making the switch to women's lifestyle and relationship sites, initially at HelloGiggles before making the switch to Bolde.
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