My boyfriend and I have a rule to never text each other more than two messages a day. It’s not because we’re against texting, it’s just that it can lead to a whole lot of misunderstandings that are avoided if you just talk face-to-face or even on the phone. If you do heavily rely on texting to communicate with your partner, at least make sure you avoid these topics.
- Anything Money-Related Whether you’re asking to borrow money from your significant other or you’re inquiring on how much they make, it’s best to leave all money-related questions to when you’re actually in the same place. It’s really easy to get offended when people ask money questions. Neither of you should feel like you’re making less or more than you should be all because of an arbitrary text message.
- Their Attitude Problem Was your partner giving you attitude last night? Please don’t text them asking, “What was wrong with you last night?” Odds are, they’re going to play the confused victim and that’s going to make you even more irritated. Or, they might straight up tell you the problem and then the conversation is going to get messy and probably fiery.
- Sensitive Information Now this one is just common sense. You might end up marrying your significant other, but until that day comes, I don’t think they need a “paper trail” of all your important passwords. Breakups happen and people can become manipulative. Don’t text out important information, unless you’re okay with it being used against you one day.
- Anything-Sex Related Wondering whether or not your partner liked that move you tried out last night? Don’t ask that via text message; especially if you’re dating someone who’s slow to respond. You don’t want to be on edge for hours, waiting for affirmation. Plus, what if they didn’t like what you did? You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life!
- The Fight You Had Don’t re-hash past fights you had via text and definitely don’t bring up the one you’re currently having. I’ve never understood why people prefer to have their threads filled with upset messages. It’s not a good look and it can seriously mess with your day. Sure, you might be in a fight with your partner, but leave the conversation for when you see them next.
- Whether Or Not They’re Cheating On You. If you think you’re being cheated on, you should definitely have that conversation in person (after you’ve spent days looking for evidence on social media, of course). You want to see the look in their eyes when you ask that question and see how easily they squirm. Texting gives them the upper hand — don’t do that.
- Breaking Up You can think about breaking up with your partner all you want. Should you text him or her those thoughts? Hell no! Besides the fact that it’s rude to break up (or even discuss breaking up) with someone via text messaging, it ruins the credibility of your relationship. Relationships are serious and they should be taken that way. Breaking up with someone shouldn’t be as easy as texting your dog’s groomer to make an appointment.
- Anything you can’t say in a few sentences Emotionally charged text messages are super fun to send out and all, but they’re pretty much always a bad idea. People are busy and they don’t always have time to stop what they’re doing, read, and then critically think hard enough to come up with a response. Leave the drama for when you’re face to face.
- Important Life Decisions If you’re thinking about moving out of state, getting a new apartment, or even adopting a dog, you should wait until you’re with your partner to discuss it further. I know some of these things might seem trivial but they all lead to additional questions and deeper conversations. Especially since these impact your partner just as much as they impact you.
- Apologies Don’t take the easy way out and apologize to your partner via text message. This is just another example of how relationships can become too casual. If you did something wrong, wait until you see them to throw out the “I’m sorry’s.” It’ll mean more if it’s done face to face.
- Sexting I’m not trying to discredit sexting because it can definitely be fun. But when there’s a disconnect in words, sexting can very quickly become the most insecure experience imaginable. I’m sure we’ve all been there before, right? You send a text thinking it’s kinky and totally R rated, only to find out it’s barely G. Sexting can be awkward, as can sending nude pictures. Similar to the password point, you never know what someone will do with your private photos once you’re not with them anymore. Be cautious with yourself!
- Anything You Want An Immediate Answer To If you need an answer ASAP, call your significant other, don’t text them. Odds are, the longer they take to respond the more fired up you’re going to get, which doesn’t have to happen. Save yourself the drama of having to get upset.
- If They’re Upset With You No one wants to get a, “Are you angry with me?” text on their phone. In my opinion, this is one of those questions people ask when they’re in an insecure mood. Unless you know your partner is mad at you (which in that case, you don’t really need to ask do you?), please refrain from texting this question or even asking it in person. It’s extra and unnecessary.
