12 Types Of Emotional Blackmail Manipulators Use Against You

12 Types Of Emotional Blackmail Manipulators Use Against You

Ever had a friend or encountered someone who just knows how to push your emotional buttons? We’ve all been there. These people are masters of emotional manipulation, and they’ve got a few tricks up their sleeves. Here’s how to spot these tactics while navigating the waters of healthy relationships.

1. They Play the Guilt Trip.

You know those people who can lay on a guilt trip like it’s an Olympic sport? They’ve got it down to an art form. Imagine you’re just trying to make a decision that’s right for you, and suddenly, they hit you with the guilt trip: “How could you do this to me?” It’s like they expect you to have a crystal ball for their emotions! The trick here is not to let their guilt-tripping tactics make you feel like the bad guy in their emotional drama. Remember, you have every right to make choices that are best for you without feeling responsible for their feelings.

2. They Master the Silent Treatment.

Okay, you’ve got a friend who’s a pro at giving you the silent treatment. You share your thoughts, your dreams, or even your concerns, and what do they do? Radio silence! It’s like you’re left hanging, wondering what on earth you did wrong, and you start craving their approval and attention like it’s the last cookie in the jar. Let’s call it emotional ping pong, and they always seem to be the ones holding the paddle.

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4. They Issue the Ultimatum.

Ah, the ultimatum issuers! These are the folks who corner you with an ultimatum, saying something like, “It’s me or [insert something important to you].” They make you choose between your happiness and theirs, and it’s like they’re holding your emotions hostage. But you know what? Healthy relationships aren’t built on ultimatums, and you should never feel pressured to sacrifice your well-being for someone else’s demands.

5. They Conjure the Victim Card.

Now, here’s the deal with the victim card players. These folks have a knack for twisting situations to make themselves the suffering heroes of their own story. They might say things like, “You always do this to me,” conveniently forgetting their role in whatever’s going on. But remember, healthy relationships involve mutual accountability, not playing the victim card to deflect responsibility.

6. They Excel at Gaslighting.

Gaslighting experts, anyone? These manipulators are like emotional illusionists who make you doubt your own perceptions, memories, and even your sanity. They twist the truth so much that you start questioning your own reality. It’s like living in a house of mirrors where they control the reflections. Recognizing gaslighting tactics is crucial to maintaining your emotional well-being and mental clarity.

7. They Compare You Relentlessly.

Say you have a friend who’s always comparing you to others. It’s like they’re on a mission to make you feel inadequate. They’ll say stuff like, “Why can’t you be more like [insert someone they admire]?” and it’s enough to make you second-guess your self-worth. But hey, remember that healthy relationships celebrate individuality, and you don’t need to constantly measure up to anyone else.

8. They Threaten to take away Love and Affection.

You’ve probably met the love withdrawer. When things don’t go their way, they pull a classic move—they threaten to withhold their affection or care. It’s like they treat love as emotional currency, and they’re not shy about using it to keep you in line. So, you end up chasing after their approval like it’s the last piece of chocolate cake.

9. They Thrive on Public Humiliation.

You won’t believe this one! Some manipulators thrive on public humiliation. They have no qualms about exposing your private matters in front of others, making you feel exposed and vulnerable. It’s like they’re hosting a live broadcast of your personal life drama, and they’re the grandmasters of the stage.

10. They Shift the Blame.

Now, let’s talk about the blame shifter. When something goes wrong, they never take responsibility for their actions. Nope, they’re experts at deflecting blame onto you or others. It’s like playing a never-ending game of hot potato, and they make sure you’re the one left holding it. Not cool, right?

11. They Rely on Threats.

So, let’s talk about the threateners. These manipulators are all about using threats to get what they want. It’s like they have a playbook of intimidation tactics. Whether it’s threatening to leave, revealing secrets, or even harming themselves, they pull out these fear-inducing moves to keep you under their control. But here’s the thing: healthy relationships should never be built on fear or intimidation. You deserve a lot better than that.

12. They Play the Endless Martyr.

Ever met someone who’s the ultimate martyr? These folks are like the superheroes of self-sacrifice, and they make sure you know it. They’re quick to remind you of all the things they’ve given up for your sake. You’ll hear lines like, “I’ve given up everything for you,” and it’s meant to make you feel eternally indebted. But hold on a second! Healthy relationships aren’t supposed to be a never-ending guilt trip. They should be based on mutual respect and understanding.

13. They Keep Score in the Favor Bank.

Picture this: you’ve got a friend who’s like a human calculator, always keeping track of every favor they’ve done for you. And when they want something from you, they’re quick to cash in those chips. It creates this never-ending cycle of indebtedness, where you feel like you owe them something in return. But guess what? Healthy relationships aren’t built on tallying up favors. They’re about genuine care and support, not keeping score.

Gail is Bolde's social media and partnership manager, as well as an all-around behind-the-scenes renaissance woman. She worked for more than 25 years in her city's local government before making the switch to women's lifestyle and relationship sites, initially at HelloGiggles before making the switch to Bolde.
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