13 Characteristics Of A Needy Man In A Relationship

Maybe the guy you’re dating didn’t seem desperate or like a stage-five clinger when you first met or started seeing each other, but now perhaps you’re seeing some red flags that he’s a bit needy. However, there aren’t always red flags that are immediately noticeable. You might even be a bit confused about whether your partner is crazy about you or becoming annoying and creepy with his affections. Don’t worry – here are 13 signs that you’re in a relationship with a needy man.

  1. He texts you immediately after a date. While it’s great to know that your partner’s keen on you and had a great time on your date and that he wants to see you again, it might feel a little too needy if he’s telling you that he misses you 10 minutes after you’ve said goodbye, as if you’re in a full-blown relationship with this man already. Um, you were just together? Can’t he wait? It’s about building some mystery and anticipation, dude!
  2. He’s added you on all your social networks. You went on a few dates with him and he’s already been sending you requests to follow or friend you on social networks. Um… great. While this might be seen as him being highly interested in you, it can also feel like he’s moving too fast – or he wants to check out things on your profiles.
  3. He crashes your social outings. He knows you’re out with your loved ones or friends, yet he sends you a text to ask if he can pitch up at your gathering to see you. Whoa. Not only can that be awkward if you’ve been dating for a short time and you’re not in the headspace of wanting him to meet your people just yet, but it can also feel like he can’t deal with not being around you all the time.
  4. He sends you boring texts. You want to chat to the guy daily, perhaps even numerous times daily, but when he’s sending you “Whatcha doing?”, “Hi,” or other check-in messages that are quite frankly boring, it can feel like he’s just finding any excuse to get in touch and chat to you or see what you’re up to. One of these a day could be okay, but when he’s sending them multiple times a day, you’ve got a needy man on your hands.
  5. He’s cut people out of his life. What’s happened to his social circle since he met you? If it feels like he wants to eliminate everyone from his life now that he’s in a relationship, and he doesn’t have time for his best buddies or family anymore because he just wants to hang out with you, it can be a bit too much. You’re both supposed to have your own lives outside of the relationship. This is one of the biggest signs you’re in a relationship with a needy man, and it’s seriously concerning.
  6. He says creepy/romantic things. While it can seem like it’s romantic for him to say that you’re his entire world or you’re all that he wants, let’s be real – it’s also a bit creepy. Again, you’re not supposed to be making your relationship your everything. It’s just not healthy or sustainable! Remember: the things he does are what he’ll expect you to do, which is scary.
  7. He puts a label on it right away. You’re walking away from your first or second date with him when he texts you to tell you that he wants to be exclusive. Boom. It’s like he’s in a mad rush to tie you down to a relationship with him. Even if you like him a lot, it’s always a good idea to take some time to figure out what you really think and feel about him when he’s not around.
  8. He needs a lot of reassurance. At first, maybe it was sweet when he asked you if you really like him, but if he’s regularly trying to fish for reassurance from you that you’re happy dating him, after a while, it can become really annoying. He’s not just needy and desperate for your attention, but he’s got a ton of insecurities to deal with.
  9. He likes getting into fights. This might be an unusual one, but it makes sense. When a guy’s needy, he wants you to be around. He wants to engage in long, drawn-out arguments so that he breaks you down a little, which will make you need him. Since he’s insecure and wants to make you his whole life, he wants you to feel the same and become dependent on him. Eek.
  10. He’s the first to like your social media posts. It’s great to see that he’s noticing your posts and supporting them with “likes,” but if he’s always the first person to do this or he likes every single post, it can start to feel like he’s watching you a little too closely, especially if you’re adding posts on a daily basis. Is he, like, glued to his computer screen, waiting for you to make a move? Stalker alert!¬†
  11. He calls when you don’t text. He texted you and you just haven’t had time to respond because you actually have a life. Within half an hour, he picks up the phone to call you. Yikes! It’s like he can’t handle it when you’re not available to him right away.
  12. He’s dripping with compliments. It’s great to receive compliments from a man you’re into, but if he’s always praising you with compliments and they’re usually the generic kind or focused on your physical attributes, it can start to feel like he’s just trying too hard to impress you and keep you happy. He’s doing it all wrong.
  13. He makes it a big deal when you cancel. If you have to cancel a date and reschedule it for another night, he either acts like a toddler throwing a tantrum or he gives you the silent treatment. Ugh. A needy man does this because he wants to have you when he wants you, and he can’t deal with not getting what he wants in the relationship. He might also be getting defensive because he fears that your feelings for him are becoming lukewarm. Drama, drama, drama.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.