13 Signs That Him Cheating On You Is A “When” Rather Than An “If”

13 Signs That Him Cheating On You Is A “When” Rather Than An “If” ©iStock/gilaxia

Not all guys are cheaters, of course, but some are, and there are usually signs that they’re incapable of being unfaithful before they actually are. Don’t wait around for him to actually cheat on you if you notice any of these signs — nip his betrayal in the bud and GTFO of the relationship before you get hurt really badly.

  1. He’s suddenly developed a roving eye. He never really used to notice other women much, but lately it seems like he not only notices all the hot women around him, but he takes the time to stare. Hard. It’s weird and makes you feel invisible. It’s like he’s shopping for a new date right in front of you… and maybe he is.
  2. He’s stopped inviting you to events. You were always his plus-one, but now it feels like he’d rather go to functions and outings with his friends alone. He seems to have legit reasons for this, like that his friends aren’t bringing their girlfriends either, but it still feels like he doesn’t want you around. Maybe he’s planning to act like a single guy or he’s testing the waters of single life.
  3. His stories don’t add up. Before he cheats, a man will often show you that he’s thinking about it. How? By lying. It might even be about stupid things, like why he had to stay late at the office. He might say it was to finish off work or help a colleague, but it could have been to spend time with his hot new assistant. Small lies usually lay the groundwork for bigger ones.
  4. He’s a really good liar. It’s not just the lies he tells you that are important. Watch how your boyfriend treats other people in his life. If he’s excellent at lying and boasts about getting away with manipulation, what’s stopping him from lying to you? Absolutely nothing. In addition, if he’s a convincing liar, it also makes it harder to believe what he tells you.
  5. He mentions one specific woman repeatedly. Of course he’s going to mention women in his life, like his friends, acquaintances or colleagues, but if he’s always talking about one specific woman, your alarm bells should ring. Even if what he’s mentioning about her doesn’t seem to be anything big, it’s still a warning that he’s got a crush he could act on.
  6. He’s backtracking on commitment. He used to make it clear he was committed to you and wanted you around for the long-term, but now it seems like he’s changing his mind. He acts strange or distant when you talk about your future together, or he just doesn’t talk about your relationship in the long term at all. His priorities have changed.
  7. His enthusiasm has been taken up a notch. He used to hate having to work or hit the gym, but now it seems like he can’t wait to get out the door. What gives? A sudden interest in activities that he used to hate can be a sign that he’s feeling energetic about life again, perhaps because of the excitement of having a new relationship.
  8. He doesn’t focus on you. When you’re together, it sometimes feels like he’s disinterested in what you have to say or he looks like his mind is elsewhere. It’s like he’s already checking out of the relationship… and maybe he is. Sure, we’re all guilty of getting distracted sometimes, but if it’s happening ALL the time, there’s a problem.
  9. He plays around with possibilities. These days, it seems like he’s more interested in thinking about new possibilities for the future — and they don’t seem to take you into account. For instance, he expresses taking a job out of town or living somewhere else, he’s obviously not too worried about how your relationship figures into his plans. It’s all about him and his needs.
  10. He has a certain reputation. Although you can’t always judge someone by their past, reputations are often there for a reason. If you notice that people don’t really like him much or that women tend to hate him, you could have a cheat on your hands — or at the very least, a guy who’s not a good person, which is bad enough.
  11. He goes the extra mile. Lately your boyfriend goes the extra mile to show you how much he loves you. He plans exciting holidays, buys you flowers, is very passionate in the sack, and seems to be overcompensating for something. His guilt, perhaps? Lots of attention out of the blue is usually a warning of bad behavior.
  12. He’s possessive about his phone. He used to be cool with leaving his phone in the room and answering it in front of you, but now he always has it stashed away or he answers calls when you’re out of earshot. Shady AF.
  13. He cheated with youIt’s a bad sign if he left his previous relationship because he got with you. As the saying goes, “If they’ll do it with you, they’ll do it to you.” You can expect him to cheat in future if he’s cheated with you, because his moral boundaries don’t matter to him.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.