13 Signs You’re Dating A Retrosexual And Why He’s Bad News

You might love all things old school, but dating a retrosexual isn’t as fun as it sounds. Here are 13 signs you might be dating one and why he’s not as cool as Walkmans or snap bracelets—and never will be.

1. He basically still thinks it’s 2007. It would be cool if the guy was retro in the way of loving old records and Mustangs but if he’s a retrosexual, he’s basically stuck in the past. He can’t let go of what he’s been through romantically. A prime example is the guy who wants to talk about his ex all the time—the one he dated 10 freaking years ago! You might think it’s a good sign that he’s opening himself up to you, but no. He’s just not over her.
2. He’s got a black belt in emotional baggage. Maybe he actually doesn’t want to talk about his ex or past at all. This can also be a sign of a retrosexual man. He’s clearly got issues but he doesn’t want to get too close out of fear that you’ll see them. So much for a clean slate and a new beginning with a new guy. Ugh.
3. He compares you to his ex. You don’t make mojitos the way his ex did. You’re so much nicer than she was. Whether it’s negative or positive, comparing you to his ex is classic retrosexual boyfriend behavior. It points to how she’s always on his freaking mind!
4. He doesn’t trust you. He says he loves you, but he mentions that he takes ages to trust someone. Hmmm. In fact, you’ve been dating for a year and he still expects you to hurt him, cheat on him, or end things. Geez, the guy’s clearly not over the women who hurt him in the past, which is super unfair to you.
5. He has next to no self-esteem. He’s quite insecure and you can see it in the way that he doubts why you’re with him or how he freaks out when he notices other guys giving you appreciative looks. Although an insecure man isn’t always necessarily a retrosexual, the two are linked. If he’s carrying emotional baggage that’s dented his self-confidence, it’s going to show up with his insecure AF behavior.
6. He never takes you to popular places. You might want to check out that trendy new sushi restaurant, but he’s always taking you to the other side of the city. After a while, you might wonder if he’s trying to keep you away from people who might know him, and that’s exactly it. He might not have properly closed the door to his past and is afraid you’ll walk right through it and see what a disaster it is. WTF is he hiding?
7. He recently got dumped. Sometimes people go through a retrosexual phase for a while, such as when they’re just out of a relationship that messed them up and they’re still nostalgic or tender about it. If you’re dating a guy who’s just out of a relationship, then beware—you could be stuck with a guy who’s just not ready to move on.
8. He’s still in touch with his ex. When a guy’s always talking to or hanging out with his ex, it’s sometimes a symptom that he’s a retrosexual. Although this isn’t always the case, such as if they’re platonic best friends who are practically siblings, it’s worth understanding their relationship better so that you can rule out emotional baggage—or romantic feelings—on his part. For instance, are they really over their previous relationship? Who dumped whom? If he got dumped before he wanted to end things and the breakup is recent, he might have a need to go back to the past with her.
9. Communication with his ex is increasing. If your BF and his ex are suddenly back in touch and it seems like small things cause them to have to speak to each other all the time, that’s a red flag. Maybe your BF thought he was over the past, but he’s actually not really. I mean, why the hell else would he have to text her at one in the morning to ask her if she’s still got that cute Labrador she had when they dated?
10. He subscribes to traditional gender views. Another way in which a guy can be retrosexual is if he’s got old-school (and outdated AF) gender views. The woman’s place is in the kitchen, women have to have babies, men are the breadwinners, a man has to take care of his wife… Oh man. This is clearly a sign he’s straight out of the 1950s and you need a time machine to send him back ASAP.
11. He likes to recycle his exes. Before you came along, it was common for him to dip his toe back into his ex files and resume romances with ex-girlfriends. WTF? He might’ve even done that with you, trying to get back into your life after your first shot at a relationship burned. A guy who does this often is dodgy AF. He goes back to his exes because he’s got no one else and doesn’t want to be alone. Plus, history repeats itself, so beware: if he’s hurt you once, he’ll probably do it again.
12. He’s a first date moaner. You can spot a retrosexual by what he’s like on your first date. If he’s moaning about his life because of all the crap he’s gone through, it should make you wary about dating him. The guy’s defined by his drama to the point of not being able to appreciate good things in his present and future.
13. He puts the past on a pedestal. On the other hand, maybe he’s not always talking about his previous trauma and drama. He might actually be glorifying his past. For instance, by bragging about all the cool things he did, clothes he wore, and women he dated. Ugh. If he’s got his past on a pedestal, GFTO—he clearly has no place in his life for new memories and new relationships.