14 Habits You Form When You’re Really, REALLY Single

When you’re living the normal single life, you’re probably out dating a lot, socializing with your friends, and genuinely excited about the potential of love around the corner. When you’ve been on your own for way too long, however, those habits start to change. You’re no longer out and about all the time, reveling in your freedoms and living life to the fullest. In fact, the exact opposite becomes true. Here are some habits that you tend to form when you’re really, REALLY single:

  1. You binge-watch Netflix like it’s your last day on earth. You have nothing better to do, so binge-watching series after series has become a way of life now. You’ve even formed new connections with coworkers with whom you gab incessantly to about the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy. New friends and never-ending plans with your couch? Bonus!
  2. You wear the same sweats for days — you DGAF. You know no one is coming over to visit, and even if someone does stop by, you’re not even fazed by the fact that you’ve lived in the same pair of Batman sweatpants night after night for two weeks. You rock your comfort and singleness with complete pride.
  3. You have full-blown conversations with yourself routinely. Whether it’s making mental notes or giving yourself a pep talk about something, you’re no longer above having full on conversations with yourself. Quite frankly, you’ve come to realize you’re the best and smartest friend you’ve ever had. Aww.
  4. You walk right past the lingerie and straight to the pajama section. Why would you opt for the expensive price tag on a lacy corset number that you know nobody else will even see just to prove that you’re still sexy AF? You know you look just as sexy in PJs with your hair up — and oh, look… they’re having a sale on PJs right over there. Score!
  5. Bailing on plans becomes more exciting than keeping them. When someone cancels plans with you or you bail on a night out, you’re secretly ecstatic to spend another night in comfort with Netflix and pizza. There’s no better feeling in the world.
  6. You either can’t listen to love songs or they make you cry uncontrollably. When you’re not skipping past love songs completely, you’re immersing yourself in a complete weep-a-thon over any and every guy you’ve ever come into contact with. You don’t even care what the lady at the red light in traffic thinks of your ugly cry face. Sometimes a girl just needs a good cry.
  7. You social media stalk your exes so often, they’ve auto-populated in your search list options. It started out as innocent curiosity, but now it’s like silently watching a reality TV show. Now, not only do you know what they’re up to, but you also know the wedding date, the venue, and about any recent promotions they’ve received.
  8. Cereal is an acceptable dinner menu item. Some days you’re just so exhausted from being a single adult that dinner needs to be kept simple. Besides, Honey Bunches of Oats pairs nicely with your favorite Sauvignon Blanc.
  9. As far as you’re concerned, wine is your boyfriend. Speaking of wine, you’re not technically single if you count the blissful nights you routinely spend with your true loves, Red, White and Rose.
  10. You get really, REALLY involved in other peoples lives. It’s not that you have no life at all, it’s just that you go through fits of isolation, and the best way to distract yourself from the uneventful details of your own single AF life is keeping up with the lives of your closest friends and family. The problem, however, is that you attach yourself to their issues and their burdens as if they were your own.
  11. You act out imaginary arguments with exes in the shower. You’ve spent so much time alone that your thought waves have gone to places you never imagined, like the lingering idea that at any moment, you could run into that jerk ex who broke your heart. So, you prepare yourself accordingly by acting out potential conversations and situations you might encounter. You know, just in case you need to practice the perfect opening lines and clap backs complete with hand gestures.
  12. You call your pet the love of your life. Since no guy so far has shown you his worthiness in your very single life, you’ve crowned your pet as the queen or king in your life. Quite frankly, it’s the best relationship you’ve ever had.
  13. Pinterest is life. And you don’t hesitate to spend hours on end pinning ideas and recipes that you know you’ll likely never make. Let’s not even get started on your secret wedding board.
  14. You’re very, VERY selective about who you’ll actually date. Rightfully so, you’re picky AF when it comes to actually going on dates. You’ve been single for a long time and have tried to find love on many occasions, but you stopped trying SO hard long ago. You’d rather be really, REALLY single with all of your odd and quirky habits than be stuck with someone who isn’t completely right for you.